They Will Regret Losing You

Heartbreak can feel like your identity got unplugged. We unpack a clear, compassionate blueprint to turn the silence after a breakup into fuel: no contact for self-respect, deep processing to release what’s stuck, a focused level-up across health and habits, and a calm, selective approach to dating that honors your standards.

We start by reframing no contact—not as manipulation, but as a boundary that protects your nervous system and restores clarity. From there, we walk through what real processing looks like: owning your part without self-blame, understanding why the relationship ended, and using therapy, support groups, or structured self-reflection to move emotions through your body. You’ll hear simple, actionable practices to stabilize sleep, reduce anxiety, and keep you out of the distraction trap that stalls healing.

Then we shift into the rebuild. We talk purpose as attraction, how to design a week that supports momentum, and why appearance upgrades—fitness, grooming, and a clean style—aren’t vanity but signals of self-respect. You’ll get ideas for new hobbies, better inputs (books, teachers, communities), and ways to curate your environment so progress compounds. Finally, we lay out a slow, intentional dating framework: public dates, clear intentions, delayed intimacy, and questions that reveal values. With boundaries in place, red flags show up faster, green flags have room to grow, and you stop trading your peace for chemistry.

If you’re ready to stop chasing closure and start building a life that feels too rich to abandon, this conversation is your playbook. Subscribe for more practical coaching, share this with a friend who needs it today, and leave a quick review to tell us your next step.

Chapters

• 0:00 Why Regret Happens After Breakups
• 0:54 No Contact For Self-Respect
• 2:07 Feeling The Crash And Processing
• 3:58 Heal Deeply And Level Up
• 5:14 Appearance, Habits, And Hobbies
• 6:12 Intentional, Selective Dating
• 7:39 Boundaries, Red Flags, Self-Love

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Hey, what's up guys? So in this video, I'm going to discuss why somebody will regret losing you after a breakup. There are four things that you need to do after a breakup to make sure that somebody regrets losing you. And they all come down to you focusing on you. So the first thing is to go into no contact. Two, take the time to heal and level up. Three, work on your appearance. And four, date more selectively. I'm going to break all of those down in this video, so stay tuned. If you're new to my channel, my name is Coach Duran. I help people break toxic cycles, heal from trauma, and ultimately just rebuild themselves and become the best version of themselves. If anything that I say resonates with you, feel free to buy me a coffee. There's a link in the description below. Also, if you have a story to share, a question to ask me, you can book with meeting with me as well. There's a link on my YouTube page, and there's also a link in the description to this video. But anyways, let's get into it. So immediately when somebody breaks up with you, you need to go into no contact. I know there's plenty of videos on the internet that are telling you to go into no contact and use it as a form of form of manipulation. But really, no contact is for you in your own mental and emotional well-being. When somebody decides to walk out of your life, the most respectful respectful thing you can do is to give them exactly what they want. And it's also the most self-respecting thing to do is to back away from somebody who makes it clear that they don't want you in their life anymore. Going into no contact is very difficult at first. You're so used to speaking to this person on a daily basis, you're so used to seeing their face. Your entire identity is tied to that relationship. So part of you wants to maintain that image because when you lose that image, you lose that reality, you're pretty much losing yourself. So it's normal to emotionally break down and to have the symptoms that experience the symptoms that come with the breakup, like um your sleep's messed up, your sleep schedule is messed up, your appetite is messed up, your anxiety is uh running high. Um there's a lot of physical symptoms you're experienced during the breakup. This doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. These things are completely normal. What you don't want to do after a breakup is to invest your time into distractions. When you go into no contact, don't start drinking more, getting on drugs, hanging out with random people. Um there's a few different ones, having a bunch of guy friends. You don't want to distract yourself from healing. This is one of the most critical moments in your life where you actually have the opportunity to become a better version of yourself. Because you're at such an emotional low, because you're crashing, you can rebuild yourself from the ground up. You'll remember who you were before this relationship. Also, you'll remember who you were as a child, who you were growing up. Parts of your identity will start to resurface. And that's the most beautiful thing about a breakup when you do the right things. So, yes, when you're going through a breakup and your hormones are out of whacked, you have to let nature do its thing. You have to let all of that stuff get out of your body. And the best way to do that is through processing. You want to process the relationship. Everything that you did wrong, everything that they did wrong. Um, understand why the relationship ultimately ended. Some of you guys were actually good partners, and your partner left for immature, childish reasons. That does happen. Either way, there's always something to learn after a breakup. So you want to make sure you take the time to do that. I've already suggested this before. You can either meet with a therapist, join a support group, or read a book and self-process yourself. Read a book and then also write about how that book relates to your current situation. I promise you, this is going to help you process and release emotions that are trapped in your body. Now, after you went through the processing phase, this can take anywhere from four months to a year. When the love was strong, it takes time to actually heal and to get back to a good place. Now, after you've taken time to heal, to process, to reflect on the relationship, it's important that you level up. This is when you become a completely new version, a completely different version than you were before. This is the stage where you become the best version of yourself, a whole new you. You want to have new hobbies, meet new people, be in the best shape of your life. Person that you were in that relationship and the person you were before that relationship is gone. So now it's all about rebuilding and figuring out who you are and what you're going to do with your life. That may look like reading more, that may look like traveling more, that may look like getting the best shape of your life. You want to do things that make you feel good about who you are. You want to have direction, you want to have purpose in your life. Purpose isn't just for men. It's important that both people have purpose in their life. Having a purpose, having a reason to get up in the morning, this is going to make you more attractive. This is going to make somebody more curious and excited to get to know you. When you have something going on in your life, you have something that you're excited about, people can feel that. They can see it, they can feel that energy. So it's very important that you start building a life for yourself, not necessarily to attract this person back. One of the best things you can do for yourself is to improve your appearance. You need to like who the person is in the mirror. You have to like you. You have to like the way you look. You have to feel like you are attractive. All the pain that you feel from that breakup, use that pain to become somebody better. Go to the gym more. Eat better. Soak in good content. That means reading good books, watching things that are positive. These are gonna make you feel better and look better and make you more attractive to the opposite sex. After you've gotten your physical fitness to a place that's good for you, work on your appearance, change up your style, learn new dance moves, join a club. These are gonna help you. The learning process doesn't end after school. Self-education is up to you. So use all of that new free time to invest in hobbies that you've always wanted to do, or just to learn a new skill. Working on your personal fitness, improving your wardrobe, and having new hobbies, they're gonna make you a more attractive person. It's gonna make you a more fun person, and you won't need somebody else to feel complete. And lastly, after you've worked on yourself, after you've healed from the breakup, after you've processed, after you're in a good place, this is when you start dating. Start dating more selectively. It's very important not only to date, but to know how to date in controlled ways. Don't rush into bed with someone. One of the worst things you can do in the dating process is giving your body to somebody without commitment or investing all of your attention into somebody and not hanging out with your friends anymore. Or jumping into, when you start dating somebody, you're jumping into a relationship, and then you don't have any kind of direction for your own life. Your entire life is tied to that to that person. You need to learn healthy dating habits. Taking your time to get to know someone, going on a date once a week. Don't invite people into your home. Don't go to their home. Make sure that person's intentions are clear before you decide to invest more time and energy into that person. Somebody who's really for you, they're not going to rush you to do anything you want to do. They're not going to rush you into a relationship. They're not going to rush you into bed. They're just excited, they just enjoy your company and they're excited to spend time with you. When you become intentional about your dating, it's easy to spot red flags. It's easy to spot when you're with a liar. It's easy to spot when you're with a manipulator. It's easy to see when somebody isn't good for you. But you can only get there when you have a good relationship with yourself. Because when you love your true self and you're dating somebody, they're going to fall in love with the real you. And if they don't vibe with the real you, you'll get rid of them right away. Anyways, thank you for watching. If I miss anything, leave that in the comments. Like, comment, subscribe, and I'll catch you next time. Peace.