How to Gain Respect In A Relationship

Respect in relationships isn't given—it's earned through self-respect, boundaries, and personal growth. Coach Duran delivers a compelling examination of why many relationships deteriorate when respect is lacking, and provides actionable wisdom for those caught in toxic cycles.

At the heart of relationship dynamics lies a simple truth: before someone can respect you, you must respect yourself. When you tolerate disrespect—whether it's last-minute cancellations, silent treatment, or blame-shifting—you're teaching your partner that such behavior is acceptable. The moment they sense you fear losing the relationship is precisely when toxicity creeps in. As Coach Duran powerfully states, "They need to know that you're willing to walk away."

Conflict management reveals your relationship maturity. Unlike parents who unconditionally accept their children's behavior, romantic partners have no obligation to tolerate poor treatment. The path to mutual respect requires self-control, clear communication, and creating a space where both people feel safe and valued.

Perhaps most surprisingly, Coach Duran challenges common relationship advice by emphasizing that both partners—not just men—need purpose beyond the relationship. When either person lacks direction, they become vulnerable to distractions and destructive behaviors. Two purpose-driven individuals who appreciate each other's ambitions form the strongest foundation for lasting respect and fulfillment.

Ready to transform your relationship dynamics? Start by investing in your self-respect, communicating boundaries clearly, and developing your purpose. The quality of respect you receive directly reflects the respect you demand—beginning with how you treat yourself.

Chapters

• 0:00 Common Signs of Disrespect in Relationships
• 0:51 Self-Respect: The Foundation of Respect
• 3:10 Handling Conflict with Maturity
• 4:57 The Importance of Independence and Purpose
• 7:54 Final Thoughts on Building Strong Relationships

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Have you ever had somebody cancel a date the last minute? Have you ever had someone make you feel lonely in your relationship? Have you ever had someone doubt your reality even though you know you heard what they said? Have you ever had someone accuse you of doing something that you know they did? It's called blame shifting. In this video, I'm going to tell you how you need to gain respect within your relationship. Hi, I'm Coach Duran. I help people break toxic cycles, heal themselves, and ultimately build a better relationship with themselves and others. If anything that I say resonates with you, feel free to buy me a coffee. There's a link in the description below. Also, if you have a story to tell or a question to ask, you can schedule a meeting with me by clicking on the link in the description to that as well. Anyways, let's get into it. Ultimately, before someone respects you, you have to have respect for yourself. No self-loving or self-respecting person will allow someone to stay in their life while they are disrespecting them. So ultimately, before someone else can respect you, you have to respect yourself. So what does that mean? When someone loves and respects themselves, they don't allow someone to stay in their life when they disrespect them. They don't say yes when they really want to say no. They don't chase for validation. They don't overapologize or break the rules just to keep someone in their life. You see, we teach people how to treat us every day. The moment your partner disrespects you, they need to know that there's a good chance that their relationship will end at that moment. They need to know that you're willing to walk away. When you put up with emotional abuse, God forbid, physical abuse, when people give you the silent treatment, when they shout at you, when they make you feel little, they need to know that they will lose you. If somebody knows that they can treat you and speak to you any kind of way, then they don't have a reason to work on themselves. The reality is that we're humans and we're creatures of habit. When you don't speak up early on in your relationship, you're teaching that person that it's okay for them to do and say whatever they just did. But when you love and you respect yourself, you speak up. You communicate your boundaries. Those boundaries are clear and you're not disrespectful about it as well. You show them the same level of respect that you demand from them. Once your partner feels like you're afraid of ending that relationship, that's when things get toxic. That's when it starts taking a long time for them to text you back. Or they stop taking you on dates and just expect to come over and sleep with you. And that lack of fear that they have for losing you within that relationship is ultimately going to push them into the hands of someone else. They're going to take you for granted. They're going to start fantasizing about how life will be with someone else. Because if you're allowing them to treat you this way, you're basically communicating that their value is higher than yours. So if their value is higher than yours, they're going to try to see what exactly they can get. Next, you want to handle conflict in your relationship with maturity. Hey, disagreements are going to happen from time to time, but yelling at each other, calling each other's names, giving each other the silent treatment, there's no room for that. It's like adding gasoline to the fire. We all have immature aspects of our personality. A lot of us feel like because our partner is with us and they love us, that they should put up with anything. They're not your parents. See, when you're living with your parents, your parents have to put up with their temper tantrums. They have to love you no matter what, because they brought you into this world. So they have to pit up, they have to put up with your bad behavior. But your romantic partner does not have to do the same thing. You have to practice self-control. If you're not creating a space within your relationship to make them feel safe, then they need to have that freedom to walk out of that relationship. You may think that, oh, if they broke up with me or if they leave me, that person must have never loved me. No, that's not the case. Your partner should not be obligated to put up with your bad attitude. You are responsible for how you show up within your relationship. That's why self-improvement is so important. It's so important that you invest time into yourself. You have to consistently be developing who you are. This is going to prevent the relationship from becoming dull. You're going to feel better about yourself. You're going to become a lot more attractive. And you're going to have a lot more self-respect and respect for your person. Knowing how to communicate and having that emotional control is a sign of strength. And if you set that standard within your relationship, your partner has no choice but to live up to it. Lastly, independence. Not only is this attractive, but you're going to feel better about yourself. A lot of people lose themselves within a relationship. We have all had friends who've gotten with a new person and they just disappear. They're never hanging out with us anymore. See, that's the big mistake that people make. Not only are they attracted to us for our physical, for physical reasons, they're also attracted to us because of who we are, our character, the things that we do in our everyday life. That's why I think it's very important that both men and women have purpose within the relationship. On the internet, there's a lot of people speaking about how a man must have purpose. Both people must have purpose within the relationship. Let's say, for example, two people are purpose-driven. They're chasing their goals, they're attacking life. They feel good about themselves, so that relationship is going to feel good. But let's say the guy, his career falls apart. His business, it goes to shambles, it goes, it crumbles, and he feels lost. He doesn't have a reason to get up in the morning. He's uh he's he goes through depression. When a man is in that state where he feels like he feels like he has no value within that relationship, he's gonna destruct that relationship. He's gonna start fantasizing about how life will be with other women. Just like they say, an idle mind is a devil's playground. Because he has so much free time, he's gonna be spending that time chasing women, texting women, doing things that are destructive to that relationship. And the same thing goes for a woman. A woman who doesn't have a reason to get up in the morning, a woman who is a stay-at-home mother, I see this with stay-at-home mothers, they don't have anything outside of the family to keep that they can focus on. So because of that, they start focusing on other men. They start taking their partner for granted, they start comparing their man to other men. It's because of a lack of purpose. When you're purpose-driven, you don't invest your time into distractions. Because you understand the hustle, you appreciate the work that your partner does for that relationship. Whether that's a business that they have or whether they just have a good career that they're excited about. Whatever it is that you guys have going on, it's very important that both of you have a purpose, a reason to get up. You like your life. Because when you don't have that, not only do you lose yourself, you lose your relationship. Now there's a few other things that I can dive into, like uh setting clear boundaries, but these are things that we hear commonly across all videos. I wanted to put out something that was pretty unique. I think it's very important that two people are individuals that come together, two strong individuals that build something together. And if you're doing the inner work and you're working on yourself and you love your life, you're going that's only going to show up within your relationships. But, anyways, that's all I have for today. Like, comment, subscribe, and I'll catch you next time. Peace.