Philosophy for Life
Welcome to the Philosophy for Life Podcast with Coach Darron Brown.
This is where mindset meets motivation — and where pain, purpose, and power all collide. Whether you're healing from heartbreak, battling inner demons, or pushing through a season of self-doubt, this podcast is for you.
Each episode dives deep into the real struggles of life — from toxic relationships to personal discipline, from mental resilience to emotional healing. No fluff. Just raw truth, hard-earned wisdom, and the mindset tools you need to level up.
If you’re ready to build a stronger mind, protect your energy, and live a life rooted in purpose, you’re in the right place.
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Philosophy for Life
Why Women Choose Loser Men
Have you ever wondered why smart, successful women repeatedly end up with men who can't match their drive, ambition, or emotional maturity? This phenomenon isn't just about poor judgment—it reveals fascinating psychological patterns that affect how we choose romantic partners.
Through conversations with followers, family members, and friends, I've identified three key reasons behind this puzzling dynamic. First, sexual attraction often overrides logical decision-making, leading women to transform what should be casual connections into serious relationships without proper vetting. Second, many accomplished women unconsciously select underperforming partners because these men are easier to control, addressing deep-seated fears of abandonment or relationship failure. Finally, and perhaps most surprisingly, successful women sometimes avoid equally successful men because these high-achievers trigger insecurities and hold them to standards they fear they cannot meet.
The consequences of these choices can be devastating—creating relationships where women become reluctant breadwinners, face resentment rather than appreciation, and find themselves battling partners who actively undermine their success. If you recognize these patterns in your own life or relationships, this episode offers valuable insights to break the cycle. Remember, when choosing a partner, select them for who they are right now, not who you hope they'll become under your influence. Your romantic choices reflect your relationship with yourself—improving that relationship is the first step toward attracting the healthy partnership you deserve.
Share your experiences in the comments or schedule a video call with me through the link in the description. I'd love to hear your story and create content that resonates with your journey. Subscribe for more insights on building self-worth and breaking destructive relationship patterns.
A lot of women choose loser men. If you need help with the bills, he can't help you. If you need help with your emotions, he can't help you. If you need help planning a future, he can't help you because he can't help himself. Now there are typically three reasons why women choose a loser man. Number one is sex. Number two is because that man is easier to control. And number three, men who are successful, who are winners, tend to hold women at a higher standard, and those women don't want to deal with that. So I'm going to break each one of those down in this video. So, if you're new to my channel, I'm Coach Deron.
Speaker 1:I help people rebuild their self-worth. If you're new to my channel, I'm Coach Deron. I help people break destructive habits, rebuild their self-worth and ultimately stop settling for a life that is beneath them. If anything that I say resonates with you, feel free to buy me a coffee. There's a link in the description below.
Speaker 1:Now, the person who actually inspired this video is one of my followers. We jumped on a phone call Well, not a phone call, we had a video call and she gave me the background on her past relationships and her most recent relationship her marriage that she had for about, I believe, a decade or so, a decade at least a decade and she ultimately was with somebody that was unappreciative, somebody that took her for granted, somebody that became her enemy. And she inspired this because I know a lot of women in this position. I have a lot of women who are family members, who also have been through this, and women who are friends that have been in this situation. So I want to break down why this actually happens. If you're interested in actually speaking to me as well, there's a link in the description. Right now I'm meeting with at least 50 of my subscribers, and the purpose of meeting with you is to learn about your story so that I can create content that truly helps and it resonates with you, if that's something that you're interested in. If you're interested in having a video call with me or you just want to share your story, there's a link in the description as well. All right, so check that out. So let's get into it.
Speaker 1:Number one sex, sex, sex. There's a lot of guys on the internet that say that women basically choose men because of money, but money is not going to get you a woman or keep, or definitely not going to help you keep the woman. She'll take all you got. But there's a lot of women who have men that, for whatever reason, they're sexually aroused. They have the look that that's what they want and the panties are definitely coming off. There's nothing wrong with that. Sexual attraction is healthy.
Speaker 1:I completely, I honestly, feel like if you're going to be with somebody, you need to have that initial sexual attraction spark. Now this is the problem is that women will have this type of man and then you'll try to convert somebody that should have just been for fun or temporary into a long term relationship. You make him your boyfriend. I've seen this with women in their early 20s. Maybe they're in college, they have a lot going for them, they have all these goals and in some cases they already have their degree and they're out of college. But, for whatever reason, they're around a guy that's more fun. Let's call him the fun guy. Maybe in college he's popular or he has like some kind of edge to him. That kind of man will get a woman sexually, some women sexually aroused, and those women, like I said, they'll have a relationship with that guy. But they don't vet that guy to see if he has goals, is he trustworthy, does he have good character. In a lot of cases they end up being in these long-term.
Speaker 1:I actually know personally a lot of women who have been with guys for about five to seven years, yeah, and they're the breadwinner. I know cases of women who guys can't even get a job and they're the ones that's paying all the bills and the guy's just sitting there at the house trying to figure out his life. Regardless, if you can even have a career, you might have some mental issue that he's dealing with and she's the one that's just taking care of everything. I've known a few women who've been in that case and I also see this in women that are recently divorced. You that are recently divorced.
Speaker 1:You'll meet women who have been in long-term relationships with some guy and then they're like, hey, I just want to be free, and they'll start dating some younger dude you know, and then they'll get caught up with that younger guy or some of that fun guy. That's all cool, as long as you don't take it to that next level. But a lot of these women I see that they they're on the internet. I'm having these calls with them and they're complaining about the type of man that they're with. But ultimately, that's the kind of man that they chose. They chose that man and they felt like maybe, if he's with me, I can fix him, maybe I can teach him how to make money, maybe he will appreciate me more once I do all these things for him.
Speaker 1:But a man who's in that state, he's going to wonder why are you even with me? He's going to feel insecure about your status, about your level in life, and he's going to try to bring you down, not consciously, but when you're in a relationship, you guys tend to balance each other out. So if you have somebody that's on this level you're at this level, and let's say he's at this level you guys are going to meet each other in the middle ground. You're going to come up, he's going to rise up. It's not, it doesn't. It typically doesn't work the other way around, where the guy rises to your location and tries to meet you where you're at, you know, and if you so, my point is this is that if you're looking for a long term relationship, you're looking for somebody that's dependable and you're not going to, you don't want to complain about them and look for things on the Internet and look for help and look for things on the internet and look for help, then you, honestly, you wanna think through that kind of relationship. You wanna think about your choices a little bit more thoroughly before you step into something like that.
Speaker 1:Next, women choose loser men because they are easier to control. Now this one hits home for me because I have a lot of women in my family who are go-getters, the strong women, and you will think that once they went to college and they've established their career, that they would get a man. That's on that level. But no, a lot of those women, because they've been imprinted to date dudes who would be attracted to men who are typically from the street or men who are just a little bit more immature. They tend to unconsciously go after these men. Now, these women are women who are very successful, women who have great careers. They carry themselves seriously, seriously, seriously. They're articulate, they they're go getters. Yet they'll go ahead and they'll settle with a man who hasn't gotten their life together.
Speaker 1:I know a few situations where with women who have dated, men taken men, married men who have just got out of prison, and a lot of cases women they get with these men due to their own insecurities. They believe that if they get with this man and she's on this level that he's lucky to be with her. If she does X, y and Z for him, she takes care of him, she gives him a home to live in, she feeds him, he he's going to value and appreciate her a lot more. And then if that man decides to leave, or if he decides to leave, he's going to ultimately have to move in and back with his parents or be on the be on the streets. And a lot of women I know personally they have this insecurity because, because they're such high achievers and everything else, they have success, they don't want to experience that kind of failure within their relationship, don't want to experience that kind of failure within the relationship. So, looking for some kind of control over that man that will prevent him from actually finding somebody else that he may be attracted to, or finding somebody else better let's put it like that where that could just be a part of their own insecurity. The guy may have wanted to be with them. They may have been able to get a man who was successful, who had things going for him, who was just on their level, that wanted to be with them. But that kind of man they tend to look at that man as competition. You know they try to say, hey, you know, my GPA was this or I make X amount of money, etc. But when they choose a man that's on that lower end, they feel like they're doing him a favor. You know, in a lot of cases that relationship can become abusive for the man and it can become hard for the woman as well.
Speaker 1:If you paid attention at the beginning of this video, I mentioned that I spoke to one of my followers and she had got out of a marriage and she thought that because she was working hard in her career, making money, supporting the family, supporting the kids, that the man would appreciate her a lot more. But that wasn't the case. He actually took her for granted. He was jealous of her, if you ask me, he was jealous of her and he would talk negatively to her about her to their children. So not only is she battling against her husband, she's battling against her children as well. Battling against her husband, she's battling against her children as well. It's not a good position to be in, but ultimately you're responsible for putting yourself in that position because that man never had his self together. You're thinking that maybe if I teach him a few different things and I introduce him to certain people. I show him different walks of life. I introduce him to certain people, I show him different walks of life. We share this type, so we have certain deep conversations that you can influence him to become much better. That rarely becomes the case.
Speaker 1:When you choose a partner, you should choose them for where they are exactly and ask yourself if you can be with this person in the long run and, lastly, say the best for last. Women choose loser men because men who are winners will hold them accountable. Let me explain. There's a lot of guys in there saying that women don't take accountability for anything. Take accountability. That's a sign that you're dealing with a child man or woman. And when you're dealing with the man, that is a winner. He's goal-oriented, he's high, achieving, he looks good, he takes care of his body, he has a lot of things going for him. You, ultimately you start to believe that this man he expects me to be a certain way, which triggers your own insecurities.
Speaker 1:Previously I mentioned that a man in this position will be challenged a lot. One will see him as competition. Hey, you're not all that. I can buy my own house. I can buy my own car. My GPA was this I made X amount of dollars this year. Rather than seeing that person as your partner, you see him as competition. You guys should be collaborating together on building a life. But a lot of cases when a woman is with a man who has his shit together, he triggers those kinds of insecurities. He makes the woman believe why would he want to stay with me? He has all these things going for him. He can easily get another woman. He can easily replace me.
Speaker 1:Now, what I'm about to say now is going to be contradictory to what people are saying on the internet. There's a lot of guys talking about high value men, how they have all these options. They have all this. Look it, everybody is struggling in the data market. Everybody has their own issues that they're dealing with and everybody is having a hard time finding their person. And it doesn't matter what your attraction level is or how much money you make. Everybody goes through that.
Speaker 1:But when you're dealing with a man who has all those things, your insecurities make you believe that you're not good enough to keep that kind of man and you start doing things within that relationship to prevent that relationship from happening or those insecurities make you tear that relationship apart. This comes down to your own deep-rooted issues that trigger your anxiety. That is a lot deeper than this video. But sometime this comes down to your own deep rooted issues that trigger your anxiety. That is a lot deeper than this video, but sometime I'll cover later in the future. But anyways, a lot of women who have some kind of like internal turbulence when they're not happy or there's something within them that's just that makes them that hurts their confidence when they're around a man that's a high achiever. It just makes it makes them fall apart internally. But that said, those are the three reasons why women tend to choose loser men.
Speaker 1:If there's anything that resonates with you or if you disagree, agree with anything, go ahead and leave a comment in the description. I would love to hear what you have to say and I also would love to hear your stories. Like I said, there's a link in the description where you can meet with me or you can fill out the form and just share your story. I would love to hear it and I'm pretty sure the audience would too. Like comment, subscribe and I'll catch you next time. Peace.
