Philosophy for Life
Welcome to the Philosophy for Life Podcast with Coach Darron Brown.
This is where mindset meets motivation — and where pain, purpose, and power all collide. Whether you're healing from heartbreak, battling inner demons, or pushing through a season of self-doubt, this podcast is for you.
Each episode dives deep into the real struggles of life — from toxic relationships to personal discipline, from mental resilience to emotional healing. No fluff. Just raw truth, hard-earned wisdom, and the mindset tools you need to level up.
If you’re ready to build a stronger mind, protect your energy, and live a life rooted in purpose, you’re in the right place.
Let’s work.
Let’s grow.
Let’s win.
Philosophy for Life
Stop Trying to Fix Them and Heal Yourself Instead
Do you find yourself constantly giving advice, holding space for others, and carrying all the emotional weight in your relationships while slowly losing yourself in the process? This pattern isn't just bad luck – it's revealing something profound about your relationship with love itself.
When you've been conditioned to gain love through caretaking, relationships transform into emotional labor. The truth is painful but liberating: many "fixers" weren't valued simply for existing, but for what they could do for others. This creates a tangled nervous system response where love and service become inseparable.
Coach Deron delves deep into why we're drawn to broken people, often because we had to parent our parents or only felt seen when being useful. The mental fixer's behavior appears noble on the surface but serves as a sophisticated avoidance strategy to escape confronting our own emotional wounds. Research confirms that unresolved trauma often manifests as excessive caretaking – it feels safer to manage others than face our own vulnerability.
Perhaps most dangerous is what Deron calls "the trap of potential" – staying in relationships because we glimpse who someone could become, rather than accepting who they actually are. As Lori Gottlieb notes, "We marry potential, not people," creating a prison of false hope where we wait for someone who may never materialize while abandoning our true selves.
The path forward requires reclaiming your energy and redirecting it inward. Who are you when not managing someone else's life? Studies show those who practice self-validation develop stronger emotional resilience, clearer boundaries, and healthier relationships. You can't fix others, and you're not supposed to. When you heal yourself, you stop attracting brokenness and start attracting wholeness instead. Choose peace. Choose you.
Are you always trying to help? Are you the one that's always giving advice, the one that's always holding the space, the one that's always holding all the emotional weight within your relationship and slowly losing yourself in the process? You think you're loving them, but really you're avoiding something much deeper. Hi, I'm Coach Deron. I help people break from toxic cycles, heal from emotional wounds and become the best version of themselves by doing the inner work. If anything that I say resonates with you, feel free to buy me a coffee. There's a link in the description below. Also, right now, I'm meeting with at least 50 of my subscribers. The purpose of meeting with you is to hear more about your story so that I can create content that truly helps you heal along this journey. If that's something that you're interested in, there's a link in the description to that as well.
Speaker 1:Now let's talk about the mental fixer and to finally put that energy back into yourself. Now, in this video, we're gonna cover four sections. First, we're gonna talk about why you're drawn to broken people. Next, avoiding your own healing. After that, we're gonna talk about the trap of the potential. And lastly, we're going to talk about the trap of the potential. And lastly, we're going to discuss reclaiming your energy.
Speaker 1:Now, if you keep attracting people that you're saving, that's not unlucky. What you're uncovering is a deep emotional pattern. Maybe you had to parent your parents, or maybe you only felt seen when you were useful. So now you chase love by becoming indispensable. You try to earn love by being needed. Dr Nicola Perra wrote when you've learned to gain love through caretaking, relationships always feel like emotional labor. The truth is, you weren't valued for simply existing. You were valued for what you did, and now love and service are tangled up in your nervous system. When you're trying to fix others, that's usually a subconscious way of avoiding yourself. On the surface it feels noble, but really it's a way for you to avoid your own pain from the parts of you that feel invisible, from the trauma that you haven't faced. A study from psychology and psychotherapy therapy research and practice found that people with unresolved emotional trauma often engage in caretaking roles as a way to feel in control of interpersonal outcomes, because it's safer to manage others than to face their own vulnerability.
Speaker 1:Fixing others becomes a survival strategy, but really it costs you your own peace. You stay in these relationships because you see flashes of what they could become. You hold on because you feel like if you love them enough, eventually they'll rise to it. But that's a trap. Potential is just a fantasy and fantasies keep you stuck. Lori Gottlieb said we marry potential, not people. But you can't be in love with someone, possibly, while denying their reality. False hope becomes a prison and you're waiting for someone who may never arise and you're abandoning yourself in the process. You've poured so much of yourself into others and now it's time to take that energy back and to put it into yourself.
Speaker 1:What are your wounds? What are your needs? What are your beliefs? What are your wounds? What are your needs? What are your beliefs? What are your desires? Who are you when you're not constantly managing someone else's life? I dare you to reclaim your energy and to rebuild your worth, because when you start showing up for yourself, your entire life changes. A study from the Journal of Positive Psychology found that individuals who practice daily self-validation report significantly higher emotional resilience, boundary clarity and healthier interpersonal relationships. Healing isn't selfish, it's magnetic, and when you stop chasing brokenness, you start attracting wholeness. You can't fix them and you're not supposed to. What you can do is to heal and to stop confusing struggle with love. Lonnie Avantes said you're not required to set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. Heal yourself and you want to attract someone who needs saving. Instead, you attract someone to grow with. Love doesn't have to be earned. Choose peace. Choose you Like, comment, subscribe and I'll catch you next time. Peace.
