Philosophy for Life
Welcome to the Philosophy for Life podcast, hosted by Darron Brown, where we explore the profound questions and timeless wisdom that shape our existence. Join us on a journey of self-discovery and intellectual exploration as we delve into the depths of philosophy, spirituality, ethics, and the human experience. Through thought-provoking discussions, engaging interviews, and insightful analysis, we seek to unravel the mysteries of life and uncover the underlying truths that guide us. Discover practical insights and philosophical perspectives that can enrich your daily life, challenge your perspectives, and inspire personal growth. Whether you're a curious seeker, a deep thinker, or simply someone passionate about understanding the complexities of our world, Philosophy for Life is your gateway to wisdom and enlightenment. Subscribe now and embark on a transformative quest to gain clarity, find purpose, and embrace the profound beauty of existence.
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Philosophy for Life
From Rebellious Youth to Financial Wisdom with Lisa Drennon
Navigating life's tumultuous waves, Lisa emerges as a beacon of resilience and wisdom. From her rebellious youth marked by substance misuse and early motherhood, she has charted a course to financial savvy and spiritual fulfillment that many can only dream of. Her candid revelations about her affluent but unstable upbringing, combined with her powerful transformation into a single mother at 17, offer a raw and inspiring testament to the strength of the human spirit.
As we journey with Lisa through her spiritual awakening and the intentional reshaping of her inner dialogue, you'll be invited to reflect on your own path to emotional healing. She exposes the intricate process of replacing the ghosts of past traumas with a narrative of self-compassion and gratitude. But it's not just about the inner work; Lisa generously shares her blueprint for financial growth, introducing her "I Date Money" philosophy and how it intertwines joy with the practicalities of money management and wealth building.
Finally, Lisa imparts her hard-earned wisdom on relationships, advising on how to recognize and step away from those that drain precious time. She deftly navigates the complexities of marriage and money, challenging listeners to consider how their financial personalities can impact their love lives. The episode concludes with an exploration into financial literacy, emphasizing its critical role in ensuring both individual and joint fiscal health within partnerships, before diving into strategies for business profit optimization. Through her stories and strategies, Lisa's journey becomes a compelling roadmap for those seeking transformative growth in every facet of their lives.
Hey, what's up guys? So I have an interesting podcast for you today. I'm always doing research on you, lisa. Earlier this week and I was just like man there's you talk about a variety of different topics, everything from money to spirituality, to religion, to you also talk about your life journey. I want to say, from when you were 17 had three abortions. There was another podcast where you mentioned like menopause. I think I'll skip that one. I want to get into all these different things. Who was Lisa when she was 14? How was life for you growing up?
Speaker 2:Oh, great question. Well, thanks for having me on the show. Yeah, I do talk about a lot. I actually have two podcasts and I like to bring on a different variety of guests, just because our stories matter.
Speaker 2:You know the patchwork of our lives and dictates what we do. So you know, deeply rooted in our subconscious from childhood, our conditioning statements that we grew up with that dictate how we relate to money, to wealth, to health relationships. And my 14 year old self was a hot mess. I came from a family. I was born into a very wealthy family of entrepreneurs. My parents divorced when I was three and my parents had a business together which split up as well, and my mom became a single mom.
Speaker 2:I had three older brothers who were, you know, always wanting to make money and conniving ways to think, and I didn't have all the gifts and talents that one should have. So at 14, I was, like, I felt so lost and I was looking for ways to be loved, to have self love and kind of, at that awkward age where I wasn't, you know, really wearing makeup or anything. I wasn't a tomboy, but I liked the outdoors and I didn't consider myself, you know, good looking or anything, and my friends were starting to date and I was just like, well, nobody loves me, I think I'll eat some worms. But at a very young age I was exposed to drugs and alcohol. I think I started smoking pot when I was five, drank beer at a very young age, but religion was always in. My mom was very religious, so she was always talking about God and Jesus. So we grew up fearing the Lord and you know, one of the things that she taught me to say is when I was scared to say my Jesus, my confidence. So I had these mixed rage of thoughts in my head and, you know, going through. And my mom had gotten remarried.
Speaker 2:But we had a lot of freedom and since my brothers had paved the way, making life, you know, much easier for myself, I got away with a lot of stuff. So I would do things at 14 years old. I would stay out, I would sneak out of my house and stay out all night long. My friends and I would go hiking in the middle of the night, like why, I don't know. So we were pretty adventurous, I guess. But at the same time I was a very good student. I'm from Rochester, new York, so I was born and raised in Rochester, new York. We lived in California for a few years and then we came back and, yeah, lived in a small suburb called Greece, the town of Greece, about an hour from Buffalo, and grew up with cornfields and lots of land and nature. Just we did a lot of hiking.
Speaker 1:Okay. So I thought you were from the East Coast. I either thought it was from, I thought it was Canadian accent I heard, or East Coast accent. Yeah, yeah, a few words, a few words that you said. I hear the accent come through. What I want to know is you said you grew up pretty affluent, I believe, like you grew up with money, but then your parents got divorced. How does somebody that's a fluent, grew up in a fluent family with pretty financial needs are met, and then grew up from that background, then they start getting into parties, they start getting into all kinds of mess and then how did you like? Who did you? How was it that you got pregnant three times at 17?
Speaker 2:Well, I was very rebellious and when my mom got remarried, she married a guy that was a factory worker and he paid out all of his money towards the child's support, towards his kids. So my mom complained about money constantly and even though money was coming in, it was going out faster than it came in and my dad was supposed to pay child's support but he didn't always put the checks in the mail at the same time. So we had everything we needed, but yet there was still this lack a scarcity. So there was a lot of fighting about money in the house and there was always.
Speaker 2:I had a brother that was very they called him a juvenile delinquent. He was just very hard to deal with. So there was a lot of insinual and screaming in my house. So my choice was just to escape and to get out. And at 15, I said I used to sneak out the house, used to go to parties and stuff.
Speaker 2:I called up, hung out with people that were older than me and I met my and at 15, we ended up, you know, becoming serious and I, you know, fell in love, as a 15 year old girl can, and ended up, you know, giving up my Virginia to him and you know it was petrified by my mom brainwashed me not to take the birth control pill. So I ended up pregnant three times, two of them ended in abortion and the third time I was like no, I'm not doing this again, I'm having this baby. So I was 17 years old, pregnant and chose to become a single mom, got rid of the guy. The guy was a narcissist, gaslighter into drugs, just very emotionally abusive, and it was one of the most challenging things I ever had to do. But I did it and I moved on and made a life for myself. So go ahead.
Speaker 1:No, sorry about that. I was going to and I think you're about to conclude I was going to ask you how was it, how was it as a 17 year old or 18 year old single mother, like, did you have support? How did you, how did you get through that?
Speaker 2:I had support with my mom. She, you know, babysat my son while I went to work. I worked a full time job and a part time job to make ends meet. I was feeling like I was, you know, living, check to check, you know. So I lived at home with her. She convinced me that I wasn't able to move out of my own because if I moved out of my own, horrible things would happen. So there's a little bit of narcissism there as well. Very controlling family. And you know I kind of picked up the financial habits of living, check to check and always, like, you know, never feeling like I had enough, and got strapped with, you know, a car payment and some things. But then I was working at my part time job and my employer stole from me, used my car as collateral, and that kind of shocked me. So I ended up with all this debt that I didn't know I had because somebody forged my name on a loan.
Speaker 1:Okay, how does that I mean, how does that work? Because I'm a home owner, you know, I have a home loan and I'm just trying to wonder, I'm wondering how, what can I do to protect myself so that something like that doesn't happen to me?
Speaker 2:Don't give away your information. So you know the employer had asked me for information. You know that usually when you work for an employer they'll want your social security number. You know certain things that they need fell out of W9 form. This employer had asked for a copy of my driver's license, my social security number, my registration to my car. Information about like that didn't make any sense and it was a new business and I thought, well, maybe, maybe this is just something that this particular business means because it's a small business. So I gave them all that information and they basically needed it to put my car up as collateral for this loan that they had forged my name on. So just be very, very careful of who you give information to.
Speaker 2:I retired from the Social Security Administration after a 30 year career and, like I used to tell people all the time, do not give your social security number out, people do not need it. But now I retired and I became an addition to being a wealth activator. I'm an independent insurance broker specializing in Medicare and healthcare for self employed individuals and small businesses and I asked for their social security number all the time and they just give it to me and I'm like ouch, it totally goes against the 30 years of me telling you don't need your social security number, but unfortunately the healthcare industry does use it for verifying whether or not they qualify for tax shelters and things like that.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right. Yeah, because I was just thinking to myself. I think for every job I needed, I think I had to get my last four duties of my social security. It's not the whole one, but I guess it's gonna watch out for.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they changed it now. I know they do use last four, but when you fill out a W nine you have to fill out the entire form. But usually when you're at the W nine stage it's a trusted part of it. You know, you know you have the job and it's going to a trusted part of the company.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right. So run me through the spiritual transformation, because I know that you don't go from being this person to making money. Even myself, I've had my issues and just listening to you know you, it's kind of like it makes me feel like I have no. I have no space for whining and complaining. You know everybody's going through something. But take me through the spiritual transformation from the 14 year old you that was rebellious to the 18 year old you that was a single mother. I'm sure you became a lot more responsible. You're figuring things out and I'm sure you went through a whole bunch of crap in your 20s and 30s that helped you become solid come who you are now. So can you talk about that a little bit?
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely. So. I grew up in a very religious family and I like to say, you know it, religion is a practice of something. So we grew up practicing religion, went to church every day we send the rosary. And when my parents got divorced, my mom was excommunicated from church so we had to go to other churches. So we started exploring other churches.
Speaker 2:I went to vacation Bible school. I went to, you know, Methodist, luther and whatever, and just learned about the Lord and you know was like, oh cool, like you know, I get to learn about these Bible stories and it was fun. It got me out of the house. I didn't have to listen to my mom yell on screen and but my mom always had like this strong relationship with Jesus and she instilled that in us. Like you know, whatever happens, jesus is with you and you just have to trust him and you know. So I always had that in my, in my mind as I got to be a teenager, where our, my friends started exploring Christianity more and we kind of got caught up in this, you know, born again, movement and accepted Jesus when I was 12 years old and then, okay, once saved, always saved, didn't really follow it. I mean, we were still doing things we weren't supposed to as far as you know Christianity goes when my kids were older. I have three, three adult kids now. But as they were growing older, we got involved in a church.
Speaker 2:So my husband and I met in 1989. And we got married and had, you know, grew our family. I was taking the kids to church out of that obligation of oh, it's a habit, I want to go to church and, yeah, I'm learning something. But am I really getting anything out of it? It was just the practice of the religion and so. But I wanted to learn more. And I grew and I was trying to read the Bible. And my grandmother was very faithful and loved the Lord and she had this really cool Bible that you can understand and read. And I said to her when you pass away, I'd like to have your Bible, because when I do get it I'm going to read it from front cover. She passed away in 1994. And I kept my promise. I read her Bible from the very first page to the last page. I was like, wow, this is so cool. So then I decided that I want to learn more. So I started taking classes who like the Dallas Institute and I'm about to get my graduate of theology degree from North Star Bible Christian School and I just had this hunger to learn, like, what does the Bible say?
Speaker 2:The basic instructions before leaving earth, when my in 2014, I was volunteering at church with our youth group and we went to Philadelphia for this battle cry and it was all these rock singers singing Christian songs about faith and spirituality and growth. And it wasn't about religion, it was about a relationship with the Lord and just knowing, like, if you were to die today, where are you going? Do you know where you're going to spend eternity? And there's like this whole spiritual world and it's just like, okay, what is this really all about? And you know, we hear about, like you know, the demons and the angels and and you know all of that and I always question is this like it's just so? If you really think about your thoughts and how that portrays it's, sometimes it's like, wow, you're crazy, and it got to be a little bit uncomfortable. But the more I studied it and the more I was just like, okay, god, I know you're the creator, let's have this conversation. Because I'm not really sure, like, how I fit in and as I studied the Bible and I learned about the different people in the Bible and their faith are like, it's so simple, why do we miss it?
Speaker 2:And so in 2014, at this battle cry, I rededicated my life to Christ and said, okay, I'm all in, scared of death, but you show me the way, and you know it's a journey. I mean, we're all sinners and we all messed up when we make mistakes, but we are forgiven. And the biggest thing that I held on to was God's not going to forgive me, because I had two abortions, you know, and I had sex out of wedlock and, you know, I was a fornicator and I had labeled myself, all these things. And I was holding on to all of that and I was teaching kids like I was teaching vacation Bible school and, you know, classes during the week, telling these kids, like God forgives, you just say that you're sorry and he erases your sin. And I would have like these little visuals of God erasing their sin and you know his magic paper. We would write our sin and then we would burn it in a candle and go away forever and I thought, excuse me. I said, well, if God can forgive them, does he forgive me? And I never truly believed that until, like, I went through this healing journey class and just kind of really dived in word by word.
Speaker 2:I'm like, okay, I want to learn the Bible word by word, I want to learn the contracts, I want to learn the history and the. What were these people going through? And I think the the movie the Chosen that's out there now the series depicts it the best, because these are real people that had lives, that made the decisions. And you know the Bible, parts of the Bible say, like you know, there's nothing new is Ecclesiastics. You know, the author says there's nothing new under the sun. Everything we've experienced someone before us has experienced it and different degrees or levels, and We've all messed up and nobody's perfect and there's murderers. I mean, david was a murderer and Moses was a murderer.
Speaker 2:And I'm like, okay, and I labeled myself a murderer and it was really challenging for me to work through that because I did it to myself. You know, yeah, I was highly influenced, so I didn't think I deserved spirituality, I didn't think I deserved forgiveness. So, going through that journey and understanding that I'm made in God's image and God loves me and Therefore I am forgiven, and he has shown me over and over again that I am forgiven and you know, I get to Be designed by, I'm designed by him and I get to serve him and I get to do things that honor him. So, as a result, I ended up starting my I'm not for profit divine timing ministries, which is a support group for post-abortion woman where they can come in a safe place non-judgment. It's kind of modeled after the book of Esther, like we don't bring religion into it, we don't talk about Christianity, but God is there, god is present.
Speaker 1:You know something you say that stands out to me. You're talking about how our mind works and If we really paid attention to our thoughts, who would think or we were crazy. You know, and I'm I've been my exactly. I've been on my own spiritual journey and I know that for me, a lot of my healing had to do with letting go of, letting go of trauma. I want to say letting go of like revenge fantasies and really watching my thoughts. What you don't have to get out, get all your personal business. I want to say what, if you don't mind saying like, what kind of things were you holding on to that you need to let go, to help you Elevate yourself to the next level.
Speaker 2:Oh, great question. I was holding on to everything, every thought. So you know, scripture says to captivate your thoughts, make more beating to Christ. I kept in my thoughts, I captivated my thoughts and made them so Harsh and judgmental towards myself so I would literally look in the mirror and every criticism you could possibly think of I would say you know, you're no good, You're stupid, you're a murderer. You know who do you think you are. You know you're from the gutter, you're this, you're that. You don't make good decisions.
Speaker 2:So everything, every time I messed up, I, you know, would just beat myself up verbally, and I was very accustomed to emotional and verbal abuse, so it was natural I didn't even realize I was doing it. You know, and one thing that I had just recently worked through was my dad used to say he used to call everybody you're stupid, like this was the normal thing that came out his mouth, no matter who he talked to. And I realized that was a conditioning statement. I mean, I must have heard it when I was in the womb, right before I was even born, and I have. I said, you know, I Thought to myself Okay, so I get to like our in my mastermind. We did an exercise where we found those autopilot thoughts and then we're reversing them, we're gonna rewire them. So what? What would? How would we rather, what do we want to say to ourselves? So, instead of saying I'm stupid or like in my mind was autopilot, you're stupid, I say I'm intelligent and I make the best decisions for myself. And I thought to myself I wonder how long it'll take me to rewire. And it isn't really a matter of time, it's the matter of the intention. And how many times a day do I get to say that? Well, yesterday I Said it like a hundred times. I kept calling myself stupid. Every time I would drop a glass. You're so stupid, you know, every time I would forget to do something. You're so stupid. I played golf this morning and I I Missed a shot. I said you're so stupid and it's just automatic. And I caught myself and I'm like okay, I'm intelligent, I make the best decisions for myself. And if you had a squat to that, it accelerates that, that process. Anytime you can get all the the Senses involved, it really accelerates the result that you desire.
Speaker 2:So, thinking about your thoughts like where do they come from, you know, you ask yourself questions and these thoughts pop up. So I became a certified aromatherapy practitioner back in August of 20 and the first thing we had to do is identify Emotions. The only emotions I knew were anger and disgust. I was really good at hiding my feelings because I grew up with three older brothers who told me, girls, don't cry, stop acting like a baby. And you know, don't tell everybody your business. So you know, don't show any emotion or feelings. So you know, you end up becoming very angry and bitter. I ended up doing that anyways.
Speaker 2:So everything I was very judgmental and everything was Be like dirty looks and you know, you know just telling people off, just very angry and frustrated and disgusted all the time. And I would always compare myself to others, like, well, they think they're better than me, well, I'm better than them, and give myself a laundry list. So really thinking about those thoughts that I would say okay, who told me this? And then realizing that these were just Conditioning statements and I didn't truly believe them. Like you know, who told me I had to go to church every single day? Who told me that? You know, you, you had to. You know, wash the dishes a certain way or make the bed, you know, a certain way. Like, why do I even think I have to do this? So when I started, like looking in the mirror and saying, okay, how do you even do you even like yourself? And then looking at myself and saying I like this about me, you know like, I like my, I like my long hair, I like my skin, I like this, I like that, and that changed my perspective and I started Feeling good.
Speaker 2:And then I started writing down a gratitude list, like things that I'm grateful for, but not only just a list. But why like? Why am I thankful that I have dirty dishes to clean? Because I have a family to care for, I have a home in which to have dirty dishes? I mean, there's some people who don't have that right.
Speaker 2:So, really focusing on why we're thankful, and there's things that happen like people think things are good and bad, but they're not. Everything's an experience that we get to process, to get us to the next level. So when you think about, okay, I'm wired to feel. And if I can identify the emotion, so if I get a thought that triggers me, so like black leather jackets triggered me, because my, my, the guy had the abortions with, always wore black leather jacket and after we broke up. I didn't want anything to do with them, I didn't want him in my life at all.
Speaker 2:Well, years later, I'm at the beach and we're like at this, you know, on the like this tiki bar type thing, we're listening to a band and somebody a guy that looked like him walked in with a black leather jacket. I immediately got ticked off, went to judgment mode and I was angry and my husband's like are you okay? What's matter? Did somebody say something to you? And I'm like what? And I like was totally in a trance. I'm like I'll be right back.
Speaker 2:And I went to the bathroom and I kind of like got myself together and went through this thought exercise. I'm like, okay, what happened? And then I realized the connection. I'm like, well, how do you feel about that? And I'm like, well, I'm angry. Well, this guy had nothing to do with that. Who are you angry at? And I was angry at myself for allowing my younger self to be in this relationship with him for three years. So, literally in five minutes I worked through these thoughts and connected with that emotion and allowed that emotion just to be. And then I was fine and I walked out, had a glass of water and I'm like okay, let's enjoy the band.
Speaker 1:You know. Thank you for sharing that, because I had the same experiences as well. Luckily, you know, I've done like I said. I've done my own spiritual work, I've read books, but I have went in and out like I'll be in having a good mood and then all of a sudden I have one thought and it triggers me and I just go on like this. I don't want to say I black out, but I kind of like fade away into a whole different mode and then I come back to my conscious and I'm like, oh, what the hell cut the. You know I need to cut that out. Were there any kind of books that you read along this journey that helped you deal with your thoughts?
Speaker 2:So many books, so much therapy. I was in therapy from 18 until I don't know. Last year I had some form of therapy. I did a healing journey class. It's literally called the healing journey class. I did that and I facilitated that for like four years. I read books by several authors. I worked with Leslie Vernick, who's a relationship coach. I did a thing called Matt Talbot Ministries, which is like an AA program but it's for people who go through dysfunctional relationships and it was very powerful. A lot of I statement work I mean boundaries, henry Cloud's books, any book I could get my hold. I read every and any book I can get my hands on about anger, relationships, having conversations with people you know, like assertiveness and things like that. So lots and lots of work.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, Henry Cloud is a real good one. I have a few of his books Boundaries and Relationships, Boundaries and Dating Boundaries, Boundaries the main book, and he's definitely a stud. I want to know is I believe, yeah, so when I was doing research on you, it said that you retired in two years, but it doesn't say what age you are when you retire. Like, what age were you when you retired?
Speaker 2:Well, I retired in two. I retired two and a half years early. I had a 30 year career at the Social Security Administration, so I was 54 years old. I was supposed to retire in June of 24. But I retired in December of 21 after COVID. They had offered an early out. I was doing the online coaching and I said talk to my financial advisor. I'm like, is this possible? He's like, yeah, go for it. So I did.
Speaker 1:Okay and well, you know, right now on social media, a really big thing that's blowing up is personal branding and I, when I came, when it came to starting a business you know I have a tech business business on the side and when it came to starting a business, I just thought, okay, all I need to do is build the idea. My idea is good enough, people see as good enough, I'll bring them in. But you do need to have some kind of like a following, or people need to have some kind of traction that allows people to know who you are and feel comfortable by and from you. I want to know what are you, how do you feel about building your personal brand and how has building a personal brand helped you with business, if that is relevant.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I date money. It is my personal brand. Lisa Drennan is my personal brand, but the money is my baby. So I have a beautiful brand branding. Coach artist, graphic designer, sarah Degena. She did my I date money logo and you know it's been around. So you know I started online coaching in August of 20. I've been in finance and insurance since 1987. I've been a treasurer for three not for profits. Continue as a treasurer for three different not for profits currently.
Speaker 2:So I love finances, I love all things money and so when I was transitioning from I was a client attraction coach, I was a post abortion coach and then I did some emotional trauma work coaching and when I transitioned into that is like, everybody kept asking me about money. So I was like, okay, I just kept not being happy with the niche that I was in. I didn't like my branding. And when I sat down with my coach, she's like, well, what do you want to do? And I'm like I love money. I'm like I'm going to date money, like money, and I go on a date once a week and we have so much fun and I have this money multiplier system and we have fun. And she's like, well, you did money. She's that's your brand and I'm like, oh yeah. So that's kind of like where it started and how it came about and it's just all about.
Speaker 2:You know, my one of my favorite books to read is the richest man and Babylon, and that's the the we're the concept of money multiplier system came from.
Speaker 2:Is, you know, when you get money and save 10%, give away 10%, and then I add the 10% fund money, because if we're not enjoying the money that we have, how is it going to help us grow?
Speaker 2:So the branding of I date money and the colors and all of that just represent that boldness, that journey and that the fun that we get to have. You know, it's kind of like that Miami nightlife, like money and when our relationship with money. If money was a person, how are we connecting with it, how are we relating to it, how are we making it the best thing in our life possible? How are we getting it to work for us instead of us working for it? So that's kind of like the whole thing. And there's a triangle in my logo and the triangle has to do with the mountains that we go to, the mountains and the valleys that we go through in the emotional roller coaster that we have with money, and then the the totally Trinity, the spirituality behind it, because we were designed to do good things with money, you know, and money in the hands of good people does amazing things and it gets to multiply.
Speaker 1:I read the book. Well, I listened to the book the Richesman and Babylon. I want to say a few years back, only listen to it once. I have it on my audible, the the. I want to say the idea of saving 10% and giving away 10%. Did that come from the book?
Speaker 2:The investment came from the book and then the giving came from my grandma. So my grandma, when I was seven years old, sat me down and said gave me some money. And said, lisa, this is how you manage your money. And she had like a piggy bank with three slots 10% went to savings, 10% went to giving and then 80%. I got to do it over. I want to. And as I got older she taught me the money envelope system and I was always like well, grandma, what do I do with the 80%? She says, well, you don't have any bills, so you just use it for what you want to use it for. If you want to buy a new bike, you know, whatever, some new clothes, you can do that. So every time I got a dollar, you know we would save 10% and we dropped 10% in the church bucket and then the 80% we would save, you know, for whatever we wanted to.
Speaker 1:And how has that helped you financially? Well, how has it helped you in general, saving and giving 10%.
Speaker 2:Well, it's definitely created responsibility and credibility. I mean, I've grown. My investments have been outstanding. It helped me retire two and a half years early, but really building up wealth and understanding that if, when we put money aside in percentages, when we have a job for the money, we get to grow it and all of our needs are met. So I've never had to worry about like, oh, do I have enough money to buy groceries? You know we save for cars and things like that, so we paid for cash. I did have a midlife crisis, you know I said earlier I had was stolen from when I was a single mom, 22 years old. I was a bankruptcy paralegal and working for a law firm. My job was to help. I created budgets for people who just filed for bankruptcy and ended up with $32,000 with the debt after this person had forged my name and I was responsible for this loan. So I chose to file for bankruptcy and the judge.
Speaker 2:I was only 22 and the judge is like what are you doing here, like you are too young? And I explained to him what happened and he goes. Okay, he goes, I'm going to relieve you of your debt. But I wanted you to make me promise that you'll learn all you can about finances and that you'll never be in this position again. I said, absolutely I will. So I did, and that's how I got into the finance and insurance fields and, already being in the bankruptcy paralegal, I knew what budgets were. So I set one up for myself and I said, okay, let's do this.
Speaker 2:And I worked two or three jobs at the same time, got into the treasury stuff, and then, as I got older, I was completely debt free. I was saving like 30 to 40% of my income, so I didn't need it, so I might as well save it, invest it and watch it grow. And then, in my 40s, I rebelled and went through like this midlife my husband calls it my midlife crisis and I ended up racking up $100,000 worth of debt. I'm 0% credit cards and I couldn't figure out what the heck was wrong with me and I'm like, yeah, $100,000. And I was like what just happened? And so I had to work through all of that and had nothing to do with not knowing how to budget or manage my money. It had to do with the emotional connection of the deeply rooted in my subconscious were these stories that I was this horrible person and I would sue that by overspending, overdrinking, self sabotage. And so once I worked through the emotional part of it and went back to childhood and worked through those feelings, identified what those situations were, I completely changed my relationship with money and started having fun. And that's where the fun money came. So I was just like, okay, so fun money, if I can have a money bucket for giving and saving and investing. And then I had a money bucket for groceries and car you know, car insurance and things like that why can't I have a fun money account? So I created a fun money account and started like getting my nails done, going for massage. And then that's when things really just took off and it was just like I was able to give more because more money was coming in.
Speaker 2:So I was sponsoring women through this organization called Compass Care, which is in New York state, and they work with women who are facing unplanned pregnancies. They give them free ultrasounds, std. They explain what happens when you have an abortion and then they explain options to them. And it's such a beautiful organization because if I would have had someone tell me what was going to happen post abortion, I would have never have chosen to have an abortion, because nobody tells you it's a lifelong.
Speaker 2:I don't want to call it a punishment, but it's a lifelong decision that sticks with you and it's very challenging to work through because you've done it, You've done it to yourself, you've done it to your child and you don't even know. Like I was told, my babies were a blogger tissue, so it's lied to. So for a lot of women, especially post abortion, to be able to trust again, especially themselves, that becomes very challenging. When I wrapped up the hundred thousand dollars with a debt, it was because I didn't trust myself to enjoy the money that I did have and because I was taking it all away from myself. There was this disconnect, that money was never there for me and then I wasn't secure, I wasn't safe. And you know, my husband and I had this conversation because he's like I don't understand. He didn't get any of it and I didn't tell him about my abortions until we were and we got married in 1993. In 2016, I told him about my abortions.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we felt a lot of guilt. If you if it took you that long tell somebody you love that. That's something that personally must. Why do you think it took you that long to tell them?
Speaker 2:Oh, because what I did was horrible and it's something you don't talk about at all. You don't talk about you know one. You know I lost my virginity at 16 years old. You know from where I came from, the way I grew up. You didn't do that. You didn't give up your virginity, you didn't. You know you saved yourself for marriage type of thing.
Speaker 2:And you know, because you were, you were damaged goods and you know. To tell somebody that you know, like you know, not only was I pregnant but I terminated to pregnancies. That just makes you dirty and disgusting and and you know just all the names I could think of and I, you know, didn't want, I was hiding, I didn't want him and or anybody and tell anybody until 2016, other than my two friends who experienced the same thing that I did, and obviously the guy that you know knew, but there was a lot of shame and there was a lot of guilt with it. And then afterwards you realize, when I found out that they were actual babies and had heartbeats, I was like what? They weren't a blob of tissue, like I literally was told they were tumors.
Speaker 1:So Well, check this out, since I've gotten older, you know, in my 30s, now early 30s and I want to say in the media they say that sex affects men different than it does for women. You know, the body count is more severe for women than it is for men and honestly, I think that it affects both people psychologically, because you're learning you're not learning relationship habits, you're learning basically sex habits and you're also learning, you're also conditioning yourself to be used to a degree. So I think that you need to be really cautious of who you give your body to in general. But let's say, for example, there's a young woman listening to this podcast. You know about 98 to 100% of my viewers are women. So for a young woman that's listening to this, like what would you tell her? When it comes to sex, you know having sex with a person, relationships, like how should a young woman handle that?
Speaker 2:Great question, save yourself. It is. It's an intimate relationship and I know a lot of hormones are flying. We want that physicalness, but I believe that most people who have sexual, who have that relationship, who have that intimacy, they're looking for love, but it's not love that they're getting. And if they're in a committed relationship and they have that sense of love and respect, you know, and it's not about like you know, I was raised to believe that like this is your forever person, like this is your soulmate. But there's so many different levels of intimacy, you know, it's an emotional level as well as a physical level. And as you get older I mean, I'm 56 years old, I've had a hysterectomy, I've had some health issues sex goes out the door. Sometimes I'm like I look at my husband, I've been with him for 34 years it's like, yeah, how are we going to be attracted to each other today? Let's try to flirt and do some dating because, like I know you, like I know what you got and I'm not in the mood right now, sweetheart, you just go watch.
Speaker 2:You know, just go watch TV or whatever, leave me alone, go take a cold shower. So you do, you end up losing that. So, having that intimate relationship and understanding that nobody, whether you're a female or a male, is going to satisfy that hole in your heart where you're looking for love. You know there's that song looking for love in all the wrong places. Until you love yourself, you can't know anyone else who love you. And until you're happy with who you are, you know, a lot of times I see, especially young women they're looking for this mate to fill this void in them and so they'll give in, they'll do whatever they want because they think that's going to fix it. It's not going to fix it. It's from within you, from the inside out. You have to love and respect yourself and the way you get treated is the way you know you demand, the way you get treated by how you treat others and what do you want?
Speaker 2:And my friend and I my friend was visiting yesterday and we were talking about this like, make a list of what you want in a mate, like what's important to you, what are your core values? One of the things that that our generation gets in trouble with and I'm sure it's across the board with all the generations is pornography. And pornography is like the worst thing that you can introduce into a marriage because it just it defames the marriage, it ruins the sex, because there's no way you can ever have sex the way they do in porn, right? So when a relationship, when you know when a person does this, they bring something to the, to the bedroom, that just there's, that it loses that intimacy, right? So when you think about, when you're making your list of what are your values, are like, you want a wholesome relationship where you can connect with your mate and a spiritual, emotional level. You want to be able to share your dreams. You want to be able to talk about your future. You want to be able to talk about all the crazy and silly things. You want to be able to jump in puddles if it's raining outside. You know you want to be able to just cry and not have to explain why you're crying. That's what true intimacy is and that naturally brings about fantastic sex. Like that's where the good sex comes from is because you're so connected on a level of love.
Speaker 2:So before, like you know, when you think about giving yourself to a partner. Do you really want to be exposed that way, like I mean, is it? Is it really that? For what? Is it a 15 minute satisfaction? You want to be with all these different partners because you think that they love you, you know? And the other thing I have to say is, like women or men who already have mates, women and men who are already have mates and they're cheating on their mates stay far away from them. Stay far, far away, please, because they're they're. If they're doing that to that person, they're going to do the same thing to you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree. Agreed Um image from the time that you had your first child and you met your husband. Did you date or meet anybody else during that, during that time span?
Speaker 2:I did. I had winter boyfriends. I had winter boyfriends. I'm a summer girl, so I love this summer and in the summertime I don't call it free.
Speaker 1:They call it. They call it cuffing season. Cuffing season, what a good winter time that's, when you get your a partner to keep you warm. Yeah, well, the reason I asked you that is because I had, um, in college. I had female roommates and, uh, these women were, you know, I like 10 years younger to me, about 10 years younger, so they were pretty young and, um, they were living you know that college sorority, uh, fraternity lifestyle and you know, I didn't say too much, I didn't really talk to them that much, I didn't get in the business, but, um, I kind of have a good relationship with them to this day. And um, I called her a few months back and I was just asking how she was doing. She said she had a boyfriend and, um, and I was like, oh, I was, I was excited for her, you know. Then she said, yeah, but we're taking a break. He said he wants a break now and I was like what the what the hell is a break? I was like a break and, um, I'm going to tell her when I see her, I'm going to take her out to lunch.
Speaker 1:But, um, I think that when I was saying I think too many young women put themselves in situations. So they deal with men who are like I don't know. Women who dated guys for six years. They haven't put a ring on their finger and I know me, being a man, I know what that means. That means that you're one Probably don't think you're ready for a marriage because of money, but then also because you want to see if you find something better, you know. So I wonder, what advice do you have for women when it comes to like finding men? That's wasting your time. Dealing with men who are time wastes, basically. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I actually had the honor of giving this advice to two of my coworkers back in the day. Um, you know like, you know when you're going to. When you meet somebody, you know if they're the one or not. I mean, they're science right. And if you're living with somebody and they're not committing to you, you know should or get off the pot, like why, what, you're not what, why don't you want to commit?
Speaker 2:And most of it's, a lot of people are afraid to commit because they think they're going to end up divorced. So if they come from a divorced family, they're like well, if I get married, it's going to ruin everything, it's going to change things and we're going to end up getting divorced. So let's just keep things the way they are. So that's one of the perspectives. It is. But if you're really committed to the relationship and you love that person, marry them and you know you don't need to wait two, three years, you don't need to wait for money to come. They're always going to be waiting for something, but tomorrow is not promised. So, thinking about, are you committed to living with this person? Because you know there are habits and whatever you don't like amplifies in marriage. So if you hate that too, with toothpaste that smears all over the bathroom, it's going to get worse. But if you, you know the lot of times when you get you know to that point in the relationship where you get so used to each other that you kind of don't really connect, like you know, like everything is just yeah, and when you get to that point, if you know you can spend the rest of your life doing that, then you know, get married right, because it's not going to change, but you do it. Anything takes work, like a relationship takes work and it takes two people to have a relationship.
Speaker 2:People, after 34 years of marriage, get divorced and it always shocked me and be like why You've spent all these years together. Well, because after you raise your kids, you become an empty nester and you look at each other like do I know you, do I even like you and you had distractions so it didn't matter. So, really, like you know, dating your mate, like having those special moments, going on those special dates, is really important, you know. And what does marriage mean to you? Marriage is a commitment. It's just as like you're my one and only and we're going to, you know, do this life together, and I think a lot of people like it's just a piece of paper. But it's not. It's a piece of paper with a commitment that says I'm devoted to 100% and I want to be with you, I want to spend time with you, I want to cherish this relationship, I want to have this family with you. You know, and some people don't make the commitment because they're just petrified that if they change something they're going to lose it. But if they don't change it, then they're going to lose it anyways.
Speaker 2:And when you start to think about, I remember this one friend of mine I was telling she was with this guy for six years. He was divorced, he had two kids, she was single and she wanted to get married and they were living together. And we were talking to says, well, she wanted to get married and have kids and he didn't. He kept putting her off. Well, when I, when I save enough money for a ring, when I do this, when I do that, I do that.
Speaker 2:And I said, well, you know he's been doing this for three years, when will he run out of excuses? Because that's what they are? So if you're with somebody and they're telling you, when I do this, no, you're just making up an excuse and you give them an ultimatum. I actually had to give my husband an ultimatum. We were together for four years and we were living together for two of those or three of those four years and I got to the point where I said to him you know what? He's 10 years older than me. I said I'm not going to live with you forever. Come March when I get my income tax return I am moving out and I'm going to get my own place. And then he proposed so I always tell everybody he had he had problems saying the M word m-m-m-m-marriage.
Speaker 1:I bet with that last one I mean at least you guys. I don't know when you guys were, this was like early nineties, late eighties.
Speaker 2:Back then they were high. I was a real estate paralegal. Mortgages were like 7, 10, 12, 14% at times. And then we got a mortgage it was like 7.93., it was like 7.9. And then we in 95, 96, we got to refinance. It was like four point something. So yeah, all right.
Speaker 1:So we've been talking a lot about you know a lot of relationships. I want to get into the money. Why did you name your business or your podcast? I date money. What's that all about?
Speaker 2:It's about falling head over heels in love with money. I've been best friends since I was a little girl when I had an imaginary friend. When my brother's picked on me to no end and my mom went and listened to my whining and crying, I would go and sit and play Monopoly. I would play with money and I would like have this pretend friend over there and I would win the game all the time, because of course, I'm playing against myself, but I always found money. So we lived in the city of Rochester and down the road was a corner store, it was a bar and a restaurant and things of that nature, and every Saturday morning my friends would go down there and we would play and I always found $20 bills and be like this is so cool. Today I found a $20 bill walking my dog this morning. I was like woo, woo, woo, I found $20. I got $20 in my pocket. So I always had this fun time with money and I would just like find $20 and just treat everybody and blow it and it just seemed natural, Like every time I got paid and sit down and I would have a date with money and I would say, okay, money, let's have a date. Let's celebrate our assets. Look at our money coming in. I worked overtime, I had a side gig and I would like move my money into the little buckets and just have fun and celebrate it. And then I would go treat myself, go out to dinner or go get my nails done or whatever. So I literally dated money. And when it came about, I was on a VIP day with my coach and we were talking about it and I don't know anything about the dating industry. I don't know anything about dating apps. I mean, I have three adult children. My youngest is 25. They know about that stuff, right. So she's like, yeah, and you can call it I date money. I already had a podcast my other podcast is for giving the call inside, no matter of the heart and she says you can have this podcast and call it I date money and you could swipe right on money and you could do this and do that. And I'm like what's swipe right on money? I don't even know what that means.
Speaker 2:So I created this fun thing called the money dating game. I don't know if you remember or if you saw reruns of the show, the dating game, so it was a very popular show while I was growing up and it was always like three you know three bachelors and then a woman, or vice versa you know a man and three women and they would be hidden behind a screen. You would ask them questions. So I developed this whole entire lead magnet, this game, the money dating game around that show and it's a lot of fun, but it created seven archaeotypes. So there's seven money personalities that are dominant. We all have seven of them, but there's one that's dominant and then there's one that we always want to partner with, because when you're dating, opposite's attract right. There's always something that you see in your mate that you wish you had. That's one of the things that's attracted to you. That's what attracts you to each other.
Speaker 2:So people can go through this money dating game and they can choose their partner and then they can find out at the same time, like who am I most like and why am I like that? And just kind of like, explore, like your relationship with money. And when you start about, like you know, the money dating game is set up like a speed dating thing. So you get to introduce these seven characters and say, okay, this is who I you know, this is who I want to partner with. But this is who reminds me of myself and then looking at that and saying, like so Ian the investor is one and sell the spender he's my favorite is another one.
Speaker 2:So I'm most like sell the spender because I love spending money. The givers another one. I'm a giver, Like I love giving money, I love sponsoring you know different organizations and things like that. But Ian the investor is who I partner with and that's my husband. He loves to invest, he loves to track, he's very good at, you know, making money grow and like picking good stocks, mutual funds out and things like that. So there's this nice mix of this giving, saving, spending, and it just helps you see that you know, if money is a person and they have this personality of spending or giving, or investing, then you know how can we make this work for us. So there's a balance and having that relationship, balance with your money, Okay.
Speaker 1:Well, let's, let's play this game with me. Okay, I know myself the things that at least stand out with me. I wouldn't say I'm a big investor like traditional investor, but I do like the idea of buying properties, buying a, completely, paying them off and then having people you know rent around, making money.
Speaker 1:And then I also like the idea of just having my own business. Serial entrepreneur. Have money from different very very is different. Um did various different income streams? Um, I don't mind. I really don't care about taking the risk and putting money into something and, you know, help potentially having to grow or if it falls apart. I'm not really, um, I'm not cautious when it comes to that. But when it comes to making money, I love the idea of building businesses, watching grow, making millions of dollars and then also owning properties. It's a worthwhile thing to do.
Speaker 2:Definitely Ian the investor. Ian the investor loves to do exactly that. I'm gonna say like if you're high-risk, he'd be like Gary the gambler. So Gary the gambler loves to, like you know, take a chance, like you know. Oh, is this a good property to invest in? And you know, it may be a 50-50 shot, you know, depending on like what's the investment, like what's? Are we gonna flip it? Are we gonna make an Airbnb? A commercial property right now is kind of like a gamble because there's so many available properties. You know, after the pandemic, no one wants to go back to work in a commercial building. So what do you do with all these empty buildings?
Speaker 2:and then they're trying to, and you know people are trying to sell these properties or lease them, so it's a risk like okay, kim, what's the vision? How can we make this work? And I know a lot of artists that are renting out these studios because they want you know well, let's studios. They don't want to be in home painting, they want to be in a different space, a creative space. So to me that's a little bit a combination of you and the investor and Gary the gambler.
Speaker 1:Hey, that's cool, I didn't even. I wasn't even thinking about commercial real estate. I was thinking like I can have, because you can see, I have this like mural painted and one of my house, and I was thinking like man, after the podcast grows and I can get a studio. But I wasn't aware. I just wasn't consciously thinking about commercial real estate because I see that everywhere and I'm in Utah right now but I see that everywhere, like buildings that were open pre pandemic. They were lively, but now they've just been sitting there so there may be.
Speaker 1:There may be an opportunity there, at least for well see purchasing opportunities. So thanks for that at yeah go ahead. I want to. What's sorry about that?
Speaker 2:I want you to finish yeah, I've seen people take commercial buildings and turn them into lofts, you know, like apartments and things, and then also like rental space. Like you know, a lot of times you want to have parties and stuff, you know, and in caterers are mobile and it's just like, okay, let me use this commercial space and create this beautiful venue, you know, for a meeting, a day, retreat or wedding, a shower or whatever. So I see a lot of that happening too, especially in colder states where you know you can't go outside a lot well, I'm definitely gonna be.
Speaker 1:I'm googling commercial real estate. So what about? What about partners? So what kind of partner? Because you know, I hear about marriages why they and they say money is a main reason why most marriages fall apart, and the people that I've heard say that. They say that you and your person need to have the same belief system when it comes to dealing with money. I think you believe you said that you attract her opposite so which which one is right? And then also for somebody like me, what would my ideal partner look like, money-wise?
Speaker 2:well, even the investor. You'd probably do really well with some sale the spender.
Speaker 2:You know Sally the spender or or or you know, I think, give her. You want to have a balance. I don't believe there's. I you know I've worked with a lot of couples.
Speaker 2:I've seen a lot of different. You know marriages. You know where they had divorce because of finances. You know being a banker, super legal, being in the Social Security Administration's worlds, processing applications, retirement applications and survivors applications and things were that. A lot of times, especially my generation, no one was raised on how to manage finances.
Speaker 2:Financial literacy is a huge thing and a lot of women didn't manage the money. So they were married 25, 30 years. They didn't even know what a checkbook. You know what's a checkbook, what's the CD? Like I have no clue. I don't know anything about finances. I have a client whose husband passed away and he put everything in annuities and she's calling me up going well, what do I do? I don't know. Like I don't not sure how this incomes coming in and how it's working and growing and what happens if I die, and like all these unanswered questions. So her husband was really strong in finances and she was like okay, honey, you take care of everything, you know. And a lot of women are in that situation. They don't even know, like.
Speaker 2:I was talking to a woman today and I asked her what her profit margin was for 2024, when her profit margin goal is, and she's like, oh well, my husband takes care of that. Well, honey, what happens if your husband passes away? You need to know this too. So it's really important to sit down and have your dates with your, with your mate, and, like in my wealth acceleration program, if someone's married, I'm like, bring your husband to the calls or have him watch the replays. If he doesn't, you know, if you can't be here because you want to know exactly what you're doing with your finances, especially as an entrepreneur, you know you want to keep everything separate and pay yourself a check and have that balance. So, if you have like, on the spender, my husband's a saver. If we were both spenders, we wouldn't have, you know, million of dollars in the bank from investments that we've been contributing to this whole time. We would have been, just like, you know, 90% of Americans who, just you know, living check to check and not having a retirement plan. I can't even count how many people had come in just to my social security office who had no exit plan. They had no retirement savings or investments. I talked to a woman who her and her husband were in the real state world. All of their money was tied up into real estate and they weren't drawing monthly income. So she felt like she was poor. But she had multi-million dollars in like six or seven properties but she couldn't touch the money.
Speaker 2:So a lot of times, you know, you and your mate will come like when my husband, I first got married, his whole idea of a budget was we take all the money away and we give ourselves a hundred dollars to spend every week. I'm like I don't want to, but you don't even give me an allowance. What kind of crap is that? And we had to. You know, we had to work through that and say, okay, like how do you manage money and how do I manage money. But some, some of my friends, were like you know what? We're just keeping it separate, I don't care, you know, especially if they were remarried. They're like, nope, we will put money in a joint account, we'll pay the bills from there and then we'll have our own money to do what we want to do with.
Speaker 2:But then I have, you know, I have friends that they were stay at home moms and their husbands like, okay, you stay at home, you manage all the finances, I'll bring home the money and then you manage it and they didn't care what happened to it. You need to know, because if something happens to you, you need to know, like, where the money is, where it is and how do you get access to it. You should have joint accounts. You have children together, you have a house together. You should have joint accounts and I know that's hard for somebody, especially, you know, through a divorce, because now you have to trust this person and there's always that sense of are you gonna, you know, leave me, are you gonna abandon me or you gonna steal out my money? I had a friend that got divorced and her husband took all the money out of the account and was gone. The next day she woke up, everything the closet was empty, he was gone. All of the money in her bank account was gone. She had not a dime. So there's that sense of okay, do we need to protect yourself?
Speaker 2:And it's funny because my mother-in-law, when I first met my husband when we got engaged, she was Lisa. She's have hideaway money. I'm like hideaway money and she's from the south, so she has this really heavy southern accent and she's like yes, hideaway money. She's you keep money aside enough for, like, an emergency, so if you ever need to have it, you have it. She's I recommend at this time is $3,000. She's I recommend you do $3,000. So I always had $3,000 set aside and I never told my husband about it until after my mother-in-law. You know she's still alive, she is all-time or so. So when we moved to Florida, I'm like oh by the way I have his hideaway account.
Speaker 2:You can't touch it, it's. It's my hideaway account.
Speaker 1:I wanted to know. Well, first off, the thing that you, the thing that stands out to me, is that this dude that your friend was married to, he took all the money out and ran away. That shows me that. How long were they married and did they have kids?
Speaker 2:three kids and they're married 20 years man he really didn't love.
Speaker 1:I don't know, I don't understand that mindset because I mean, the whole purpose for me of making money is to take care of a family. So I guess people have their own own ways, but for me it looks like he doesn't love that woman, or that he doesn't really love that woman. But before we end I want to talk about how much longer do I have you? We're scheduled for our, but let's just keep it going, because I want to ask some questions about your money multiplier system okay yeah, tell me about it so my money multiplier system is a three-tier system.
Speaker 2:It is the 10% to give, 10% to save or invest and 10% to have fun with and then the rest of it we get to use for our needs. So we, everybody, has the four walls. We have our housing, our transportation, our food and our clothing and clothing. I kind of look at, like you know, you stop growing clothing, you know, becomes more of a luxury type of thing. What do you need? But we always want to have our money. So you know, I'm a huge fan of Dave Ramsey, suzie Orr's man.
Speaker 2:When we think about every dollar has a job, right, if we don't know where your money is going, you're gonna spend it and it's gonna be gone, you know. And we think about all the mindless spending that we have. So the money multiplier system helps us put a system in place that isn't restrictive of a budget and because it works on percentages, any money that you have coming in. Applying these percentages allow you to always have money and because you're giving every percentage of that dollar a job, you know exactly where it's gonna go and it's not like that you increase your like if you make more money. You don't increase your percentages for food. You know like my family we spend. When I was raising my three kids, we spent a thousand dollars a month on just food for the you know, five of us. You know, when you go to the grocery store, you just don't buy food, you buy other items. You buy personal care, you buy, you know, cleaning supplies, you buy takeout things of that nature. So like adding that to the budget, right, you know, like increasing the percentage. So if you do 15% of your budget for groceries, you, you tailor it up and you do the entertainment and you include all that, right. So because you have a set dollar amount, it's the Parkinson's law you're not going to spend more than what you allocate for you can't. It's impossible.
Speaker 2:So it's just like, if you set a goal for yourself, if you say, okay, I have this project for you, it's gonna take you six weeks to finish it. You have until this day to get it done. You will wait until the sixth week to get it done because in your mind you're like I have six weeks to do it. But if I give you that same project and I say, okay, you have two weeks to do it, you're like, okay, and then you're gonna do it in two weeks. So why does it take somebody to do that same project either two weeks or six weeks? It's because of what we told ourselves.
Speaker 2:So when we have money, we get it and we tell ourselves I don't have enough, oh, I need to take all this money and I need to apply it to this debt, to this credit card bill. Or oh, I got this emergency, you know two-fig and I had to go pay for that. So you automatically spend your money before you even have it. So as soon as it comes in, it's gone, whereas when it comes in, if you just look at it and say, okay, let's go on a date, let's celebrate and let's implement this money multiplier system, I'm gonna give every dollar job, I'm gonna create this money envelope system and everything I'm gonna save first, because saving I'm gonna invest in me. So the rule of thumb is you save three to six months worth of money and emergency fund. I say seven months because I worked at Social Security and if you ever become disabled, there's a five-month waiting period before you can receive a benefit and the payments run a month behind. So having that extra cushion is really important and you can save seven months and it's not seven months of all of your expenses. It's seven months of your four walls, your basic needs, and when you have that, then you can start investing.
Speaker 2:And I always like to say, as soon as you have all of your debt paid off, you get to invest. But you can do it at the same time because you're doing the percentages and what you decide whether or not. Like I don't like to cut expenses. What I like to say is, in the money multiplier system, we create a system that is congruent with your lifestyle. So if you want to go to Starbucks five times a week, you can create a money bucket for that. If you want to go on vacation once a month, you can create a money bucket for that.
Speaker 2:But what is it? You know, either you increase your income or you decrease your expenses to account for all of those money. So you should always have a zero budget. So, as a treasurer, one of the things that a treasurer has to do is to create a zero budget to give to the members and say, okay, this is how much money we're going to have to spend, this is how it's going to be allocated, and then, as that money comes in, you allocate it to those buckets, so you always have enough, you know, and of course, as a treasurer, you always save money because you have to save for, you know, lawsuits and attorney fees and things like that, and that money is going to be in an interest, high interest savings account. That's going to multiply, so as you're saving money, you're earning money on that money. So there's always ways to make more money and that's so simple. Not easy, but simple.
Speaker 1:I want to know, when it comes to actually say somebody joins your program, like, how do you help them with their business?
Speaker 2:well with their business. I give them a profit gold audit. So as a business owner's people, they should, everybody should be having a profit audit and the profit audit looks at. So I work with six-figure coaches who have signature programs and when we look at their signature offers, how is this? What's the ROI on that signature offer? How is this making them money? So a lot of coaches will come into the industry and they'll be like, well, I want to make 10k months. Okay, what do you need to do to get there? So we reverse engineer it.
Speaker 2:So I have tools where I put in what their signature offer is, how many clients they need to get there and what. What is their net profit? How much do they want to draw from their gross revenue to get that? So what are they really talking about? So we go through this exercise. I gather all this information and then I present with them their profit gold audit which shows them exactly what they, how much income they have coming in, how much money is coming in and how much money is going out, what they need to do to hit their profit margin revenue and how they can optimize their operating expenses to get them to where they want to go so that they do hit their profits. So when we start crunching the numbers, they're like, oh, I need to sell, how many of those, how many clients do I need to get into? And well, I'm not really clear about my sales flow and I'm not funneling. I need this and I need that. So we start to create that part of it. And then I also work with them in their personal finances.
Speaker 2:So always taking, you know, we create the money buckets for their business. We cut if they're making less than $250,000. They get a pay, they get to cut what we call owner's compensation, so 50% automatically goes to their personal account and becomes their own. You know, money for their personal expenses and things like that. And then we create the money buckets for their business expenses, for profit, for taxes, for their operating expenses, so they never have to worry about what they're not. They're gonna have money for, you know, uncle Sam, at the, you know come tax season and the profit. You know they always have their operating expenses covered and a virtual business owner is gonna be a lot less expensive than a brick-and-mortar. So, like my brick-and-mortars, they have more expenses. So there's different allocations that we apply, based on the needs of their business and what they want to accomplish. I do have clients that are hybrid. They do both brick-and-mortar and virtual, so it gets to be a little bit different percentages based on what they, what their needs are.
Speaker 1:How do you, how do your clients typically find more clients to help them reach their reach their income goals Like? What are their strategies?
Speaker 2:A lot of them have a three simple funnel sales funnel so there's a freebie. So they, you know, will bring somebody in with a free offer. Like you know, I work with a lot of clients that like to do human design, astrology, they read cards, so they'll do a card poll, that will be their freebie. And then the clients will come in, they'll get direct messaging. They'll say, oh, wow, this really helped. You know what else, how else can I work with you? And then they'll get up on a call and they'll present to them their offers and say, okay, here's, here's how you can work with me. So some podcasts, some people use workshops, webinars, you know, just sharing their content and inviting, inviting a lot of direct messaging, you know, depending on whether they're doing group, group sessions or one to one.
Speaker 1:And what is their like? The programs what is the average like rate for a program out of all your clients?
Speaker 2:Well, for six figure coaches. Their signature offers usually are between $5 to $15,000. And the times vary between eight weeks to 12 months.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right, yeah, that's a pretty nice penny. That's all I was just thinking, because I know that I mean I'm doing my own little thing and I know that if you really price it right and you find your customers and once things get rolling you can be making like there's a program. I'm in the woman made about $225,000 in three weeks and I was like what the hell? But if you know your system, you know your product, you can easily bring in those kinds of people I have. Okay, there's one thing that you did say on a podcast and I wasn't completely sure what you meant by it, but if you said emotional fitness, I believe that's what it was. Do you remember what that was?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So emotional fitness we all talk about physical fitness, we all talk about our health, right, but we don't talk about the emotional roller coaster ride that we go on in our finances, in relationships, in our health, and that creates a lot of havoc. So when we ignore our thoughts, create our feelings and if we ignore those emotions, like you know, we get so used to saying no, I don't have time to cry, no, I don't have time to deal with that, no, and we're basically taking our feelings, of our feelings or a person, we're just saying I don't have time for you. But if you picture your feelings as a person, for me it's a little Lisa, right, little Lisa's pulling on my shirt tail. Hey, I need to process this emotion, you know, and sometimes it comes at the worst of times, like you know, I have to cry in the middle of the grocery store or right before a podcast. I'm crying, I'm like my makeup's being all smeared, like no, I don't have time. Like stifling those feelings, they come out physically. So a lot of times when we have physical pain is because our emotions haven't been processed completely and they're basically tapping from the inside out, screaming at us, creating headaches, neck aches, hip pain, all kinds of things. So we kind of go on this emotional roller coaster when we choose not to process our emotions and we're all like gun-ho about being happy and joyful and celebrating, but when it comes to sadness and anger and frustration, we're like I don't have time to deal with you right now and we kind of stifle it and then it just comes out sideways.
Speaker 2:So the emotional journey that we each go on all begins with our thoughts and what we're saying to ourselves, because we're the author of everything that we do. We're the only ones that can control how we feel. Nobody can make us feel the way that we feel. It's our choice and if we can choose how we think about our feelings and allow our feelings to be seen and heard, because we were wired to feel all feelings. No feelings are good or bad, they're all helpful in some way. And it's OK to be angry, it's OK to be happy, excited, gleeful.
Speaker 2:But society says you have to behave this certain way, and especially anger, like if anger is stifled enough, you end up getting explosive Because no one's been listening to you and nobody has been hearing you. So you get to the point where you just explode, whereas if you got angry the first time and you're like I am so angry right now. This is really frustrating to me because, whatever you get it out, you say it, you feel it, you allow the emotion to come through and you're like OK, what can I do differently? How can I make this so it doesn't make me angry or it's not frustrating me, especially when you're learning something new.
Speaker 2:You see a toddler get through a temper tantrum because they can't figure out what they're supposed to do and they're not getting the help that they need. So their body is arguing with them from the inside out and so they get it out by flaring their, flinging their body around, and one of the techniques that I use is the shake method. I do this on the golf course all the time, because I don't know if you play golf, but it can be a really frustrating sport. So it's just like shake it out. You just start shaking your shoulders in your head and you're like just shake it out, and that shaking motion really helps you release that tension that you're feeling, that anxiety and that panic and that frustration.
Speaker 2:It's like, ok, I'm frustrated because my golf game is not going well.
Speaker 2:I'm frustrated because I can't communicate what I need and they're not listening to me.
Speaker 2:So if you ever had a conversation with somebody and they're like shutting you down, like this happened at work all the time we would present an idea to the boss and he'd tell us six reasons why it wouldn't work. Well then you're frustrated and you're like why aren't you listening to me? Why can't you think of six reasons why it will work? But they didn't want to hear it because it wasn't their idea and their own attitudes got in the way. So then you have to step back and say OK, how is this affecting me emotionally? And it's a very challenging skill to learn because you have to pay attention, and so we're so distracted by our world and the fast pace that we're in and it's so easy to like oh, my phone is going off, I have a notification, and then all of a sudden you're like you get away from the heat of that moment and it kind of gets buried, and then you get distracted and it's almost like you're being pulled away from it, but then it still comes back to haunt you.
Speaker 1:I get it. In our society, and probably in all societies, we don't have the freedom to just be the person that we're born to be. We're expected to speak a certain way, dress a certain way, date a certain type of person. We don't deal with those kind of people and we hide. I want to say it, we lie to ourselves and over time we get comfortable with those lies until they overflow and start to impact other areas of our character, even like I think even myself I had grown up. I knew that I was always really blind. I was always me. I was the me that I was supposed to be. But something happened in my 20s and I wasn't even conscious of it. I wanted to let people be more comfortable because I came off really aggressive. I was a college athlete, I came from a harder environment and I think over time that I just went too far with letting people feel comfortable and I put myself in a situation where I wasn't really being who I was, or I wasn't really sure who I was anymore, if that makes any sense. But I think that we all go through that to a degree and we hopefully, sooner than later, we learn, we return to who we're supposed to be, if that makes sense. For example, before I let you go, I want to at least say this point, because my grandfather just died.
Speaker 1:I only met him twice. He died in his 70s. He wrote me a message. I have it on my social media, it's like pinned at the top. But he asked him if you can talk to your younger self, what would you do? And he said he would have put more energy into his kids and would have followed his dream to become a musician, a singer. He was really good at music, but he was also aggressive and he wanted to get the respect from the wrong people, the wrong ways, and it put him in prison for a long time and made him somebody he wasn't and he didn't really didn't figure out. He didn't return to himself until he was in his 70s.
Speaker 1:You know, so we're all facing some kind of, some kind of journey. The last question, the last question that I have for you is what advice would you give to your younger self?
Speaker 2:I love that question. Your grandfather was wise and we do all go through a journey and connecting with our younger self is so important, and so one of the things I do as a Roma therapy practitioner is connect. You know, I do a lot of visual work with connecting to our younger selves and doing a Hobo-Hopana practice, where we forgive our younger selves. And if the advice I would give to my young yourself is to be true to yourself, like somewhere along the line someone told me I couldn't do this or that and I shouldn't act this way, and I've been spending the last five years reconnecting with my younger self to figure out, like, who is Lisa Dronan? Like who am I supposed to be and what am I supposed to, what is my contribution to this earth? And understanding and revealing that.
Speaker 2:And asking yourself really good questions like how do I respond this way? Like if I had to date me, would I be dateable? And understanding, like, am I lovable? Like what do I love about myself? And if I really do, I truly really know me? Like am I making decisions that are totally aligned with who I was designed to be? So my younger self is very carefree and old and the Barbara Walters type. I love to ask questions, I love podcasting and interviewing. I love to get into people's like business, like I love this questioning because it's very personal and it's connection right, it's cultivation and it's we get to know people and this is what it's real.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's real and this is what life is all about. It's not this like surface level stuff where, like you know, you walk into a room like oh, hey how you doing and you say good, no, you're not good, okay, because that's not a feeling, that's just a you know, whatever. So my young yourself, I would tell her to be bold, to be brave, and don't let anyone steal your true heart.
Speaker 1:Lovely, I love that. I'm going to have to make that into a clip. Anyways, lisa, it was a pleasure speaking with you. Thank you for coming on to the show and do you have any last words? Do you have any social media you want to link? Anything like that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, definitely I date moneycom, Do the money dating game and you know, pick your partner and see. And if you're an entrepreneur and you haven't had your profit audit schedule and appointment, like the profit audit is gold. That's why I call it the profit gold audit. And what we do is we do an assessment of your business with your signature offer to see if you're on track to get the profit margin. And you know we look at it from that full spectrum to see to help you get to where you want to go, because it truly doesn't matter how much money you have, it's what you do with it.
Speaker 1:Lisa, thank you and I'll catch you guys next time. Have a good one.
Speaker 2:Thank you.
