Aligned Journeys: Finding a Woman Who Shares Your Vision and Values | Mr. Locario

Ever wondered why bad boys seem to be more attractive than nice guys? Or why the dating game is indeed a numbers game? Tune in to our latest episode where Mr. Locario, a leading dating coach, offers his unique insights and practical tips on these very topics. With over 15 years of experience, he's well-equipped to guide you through the intricate maze of modern dating, providing a fresh perspective on leadership, influence, and the role of self-improvement in successful relationships.

In this episode, we also delve into the fascinating world of polygamous relationships. You'll hear Mr. Locario's personal experience with managing time while dating multiple women, navigating jealousy, and maintaining balance in his relationships. His vantage point is a rare one, offering listeners an intriguing blend of truth, privacy, and the realities of managing multiple relationships. We also explore the importance of setting boundaries, managing expectations, and communicating openly and directly.

The episode doesn't end there. We also highlight the psychological aspects of dating and relationships, discussing the importance of understanding attraction, the role of mindset, and the value of authenticity. Through engaging conversations and practical examples, we guide you on how to approach women, leverage rejection, and live life according to your own desires. So, what are you waiting for? Get ready to revolutionize your dating game with Mr. Locario. Let's go on a journey of self-discovery, self-enhancement, and a fresh perspective on dating.

Chapters

• 0:00 Dating and Polygamous Relationships
• 10:21 Choosing Parenthood and Parenting Perspectives
• 13:14 Dating and Self-Improvement
• 22:03 Dating as a Numbers Game
• 27:24 Vetting and Upgrading Relationships
• 36:16 Navigating Truth and Privacy in Relationships
• 39:31 Managing Time, Open Relationships, Jealousy
• 46:29 Importance of Training and Upgrading Relationships
• 54:30 Managing Relationships and Avoiding Entitlement
• 1:02:48 Develop Inner Game, Approach Women
• 1:12:21 Interacting With Women in Groups
• 1:20:51 Direct Communication and Attracting Women
• 1:25:37 Understanding Attraction and Avoiding Simping
• 1:32:38 Being True in Relationships and Life
• 1:37:20 Dating With Mind, Not Emotions

Transcript

Darron Brown: 0:00

Hi, Darron Brown, here. I'm the host of a podcast for men. I have a special guest with us. It's Mr Locario. He's the author of the book the Bad Boy Book and also how to have Sex with Two Women a Day. I actually read both books in about three hours, so it's an easy read, is well organized. He lays it out in just in clear detail. So I strongly advise you to get that book. Mr Locario, go ahead, introduce yourself and let him know what you're about.

Mr. Locario: 0:26

Yeah, man, so shout out to you for having me, man, Appreciate it. My name is Mr Locario. They call me the Bad Boy, the dating game. So I've been coaching men and women on dating relationships for the past 15 years. You know what I'm saying. So yeah, man, that's what I do. I just teach people exactly how to get what they want in the dating game. So that's my thing right there. You know what I'm saying.

Darron Brown: 0:47

Okay, and how did you get into this? Like what made you become a dating coach? Because you've been doing this for over a decade.

Mr. Locario: 0:53

Yeah, I mean, you know I just it's funny because the main thing was I just wanted to do something that I was good at doing that would be my own. You know, like basically like my own company, my own business. And so I said, you know, I have my dude, my cutting hands, also my business partner. We just sort of sat down, brainstormed stuff that I thought I was good at, and then one of the things I thought I was good at was basically getting with women. So then that got into the idea of, okay, let me try to teach other guys this. Now, at first I didn't know that this was something guys need help with. I thought, you know, it wasn't that big of a deal. But then, when I put out some videos and then I got the response I got, I said, oh okay, this is something that people need help with, like that. So then I just kept it going from there, you know what I'm saying yeah, I feel you man.

Darron Brown: 1:41

I personally don't have the master game, but I feel like I have more sense than a lot of people that's on YouTube. I just remember growing up at I was a pretty boy. Growing up I was one of the best athletes and the plan D1 ball. But I knew that that wasn't everything when it came to getting women, because I knew I saw. Growing up I saw cats that was ugly, guys that was broke, but they had mouthpiece and they was getting attractive women. So I understood at a young age that you had to spit, you had to learn how to speak to a woman, and a lot of guys on the internet they're talking about what what a hypergamy. They talk about money, looks, all those things are good, but there's nothing like getting into a woman's head. So I want to get your point of view on the dating coaches today and what separates you from date for most dating coaches that you see on YouTube.

Mr. Locario: 2:24

Yeah, I'll say this. I say you have some dating coaches who aren't really dating coaches. So meaning, like there are guys who talk about what they would call like female nature. So those guys aren't really coaches, you know. So I'll say, what separates me from them is that I don't, I don't necessarily talk about female nature.

Mr. Locario: 2:45

I talk about men being men and then therefore, if you're, if you are a man, then what's going to happen is is that her nature towards you is going to be exactly what you want it to be. So women, they sort of mold themselves to the type of guy they want to follow. So, therefore, if you're a man and you're a leader, then her nature will be to follow you and that'll be it. So, a lot of times, when you have certain guys who are talking about female nature, women do this. Women do that they don't really understand how to have influence over a situation and over women so that they can have the type of relationship that they want.

Mr. Locario: 3:16

You feel what I'm saying? Now we have other coaches on YouTube that I would say have is in the same sort of line with me, where they basically hold men accountable. A lot of guys don't want to be held accountable. So we hold men accountable and tell men that listen, you guys actually have to do certain things to get a certain outcome and you can't look towards the woman to help you do it and you can't point the finger at the woman as to why things aren't going the way it needs to go. So I always tell guys that it's all on them. You feel what I'm saying?

Darron Brown: 3:48

No, definitely, and I'm glad you ended with that man, because in your book, the bad boy book, one of the things that you mentioned was limiting beliefs and how a lot of men have limiting beliefs that prevent them from basically getting what they want out of her Relationship. Are there any limiting beliefs that you had to conquer, coming up in the dating game at a young age to where you are, from a young age to where you are right now?

Mr. Locario: 4:11

Yeah, definitely, and it was. You know, it was like it'll be like little stupid stuff, like I remember I had this limiting belief that Asian women don't like black guys. When I was younger I was like I can't get Asian girls, I never see no Asian girl with a black guy, and it's a little stupidness, stuff like that. That you know what I'm saying. And then when I got with Asian girl I was like, okay, I guess that's not, you know the truth, you know what I'm saying. So I think it's you know, it's certain little things that we tell ourselves and we don't understand certain things. So those things seem true to us, based off of our world that we're living in, in a small world in our mind that we're living in. So I tell people that a lot of times the limiting beliefs are coming from. Insecurity is coming from what you've been conditioned to think and from what other people have limiting beliefs have taught you. Also, you know what I'm saying, so that also happens.

Darron Brown: 5:03

I feel you Obviously you ain't from Cali man, because in Cali the ages beyond the brothers, so I've seen that growing up. Dang, what was I going to get to? Right now you're in a polygamous relationship. Growing up, did you always want to be in a polygamous relationship? Did you want the, the stereotypical relationship white picket, fence, wife, kids, etc. Did you always want to play this relationship or did you? Did? Your did evolve into that?

Mr. Locario: 5:29

No, I didn't even. I didn't even know what, you know like an open situation was. I didn't even know what a non monogamous relationship was back in the day, and so you know. But I always knew that I didn't just want to be with one woman. I always knew that. But what happened was I found out about polyamorous relationships Because my sister, my younger sister she used to go to these events and it was like poly events and I didn't know, I didn't know anything about this. So then she actually introduced me to those events and I was like, oh, there's people that do this. So then, once I figured out that that was actually a thing, I was like, yeah, this is, this is the direction I want to go in. You know what I'm saying. So that's, that's basically how it went down. You know what I mean.

Darron Brown: 6:10

Yeah, I'm still trying to figure it out for myself, to be honest, because I don't know if it's brainwashing or what, but I always want to have like that seroc stereotypical relationship because I didn't see it growing up. My parents they're. They weren't together. My parents grew up together, they know each other, they good friends, but they didn't have like that, that, that image. So I always wanted that image.

Darron Brown: 6:29

But I've always also had access to women, so it didn't make sense for me to just be with one woman, and you know I don't. I'm still trying to figure out what's the best way to go about that and how to handle that because honestly, just if off the top of my head, it makes more sense for me to have a wife, get married but then also have a woman on the side. But it seems like you even have it at a better, higher level than that. You married and you have a wife and you have a side piece. They both know each other and they both work together to help you succeed in your business. So how did you actually like, how did you get, how did you get that to work, man, well, well first I will say the differences I get.

Mr. Locario: 7:07

I say this well, one, if you're in a monogamy of you know, a poly situation, there are no side pieces so. So side pieces are from now going to speak. Well, so in a poly situation like, so I have a wife and have a girlfriend, so it's like an actual long term relationship with both of them. So side pieces more so like a, like a jump off or like somebody you're hooking up with. So like, if you're monogamous, then you have a main woman who would be your wife or girlfriend, and then you have a random girl on the side you hook up with. So even when I, if I like, I can say I have a, I have a side piece if I randomly hook up with a girl, you know, here and there. But again, it's just, it's a little bit different, because the whole nature of poly relationships is that there aren't really any side pieces. They're all, it's all encompassed and everything. So so the thing is, I think. But the thing is that in order to make that happen effectively, even if you are going to have a side pieces monogamous relationship, you have to understand that work has to go into it, and so you have to be up for the work that it takes to maintain those type of relationships. You see what I mean. And if, if a guy is not willing to put in the work that it takes, then it's going to work.

Mr. Locario: 8:23

And so I think sometimes what happens is is that, especially men, they think about the the benefits of having that, but they don't think about what it takes to keep that going. It's almost like, for example, a person who is wants to be an entrepreneur and wants to be rich yeah, you want the side of. Oh, I got this money. You know I'm working for myself, that's great. But they don't think about the work that goes into maintain that.

Mr. Locario: 8:49

Like you know, you might have to your own call 2024 hours a day. Like you got to be responsible for every little thing in the in the business. So it's like all those things on the back and need to happen in order for you to get all the fun stuff. So I say for guys, if you actually want that to happen, you have to understand that in order to get the benefits of it, you still got to put in the work on the back end, because there's no way around that. A lot of guys think they can just get the benefit without putting in the work, and that's that's usually the mistake that happens, is it I'm saying?

Darron Brown: 9:22

I'm glad you cleared that up. Basically you don't. It is a respecting based off what you were saying, because I said side piece and you said girlfriend. Obviously, right, girlfriend is a lot higher level than the side piece Right Question I have for you how long have you been married and how long have you had been with your girlfriend?

Mr. Locario: 9:39

Right. So I've been married, for I've been married for seven years, but I've been with my wife for a total of 15 years and then my girlfriend. We've been together for like three and a half, almost four years now.

Darron Brown: 9:51

So and throughout your oh well, yeah, throughout your 15 year relationship, have you had other girlfriends as well?

Mr. Locario: 9:59

Yeah, so I had an ex girlfriend. We were together for four years and then before her it was just like girls I would date, but it was I didn't have a like a girlfriend. So my first girlfriend I had while I'm in a relationship with my ex and then we broke up, my girlfriend and I'm with. Now we've been together for like three years at this point. So three and a half years, yeah.

Darron Brown: 10:21

Okay, how, when it comes to like do you want to have a family, do you want to have kids?

Mr. Locario: 10:28

Oh no, I definitely don't want to have kids at all.

Darron Brown: 10:30

Wow why are you?

Mr. Locario: 10:31

why are you against kids? Man? I don't want to have kids. Kids listen kids to me, and it's the thing I, I, I praise and I and I and I have so much respect for parents. I just couldn't do it. And the reason why I don't want to do it is because I'm a very how do I say this? I'm very, like, like, stingy with my time. You know what I mean and I know that having a kid or having kids is a very big responsibility and, and I think if a person has kids, they have to dedicate their you know time and energy to those kids. You know what I'm saying. And dammit the life, and I'm just not willing to do that at all. You know.

Darron Brown: 11:11

so I'm saying like I have no right, it's like a major sacrifice.

Mr. Locario: 11:16

Exactly. I have no desire, I like it, just whoo. It's like that to me. I'm like mm. That shit is. I'm good like. You know what I'm saying, so I do not want. Like that to me is is is crazy to me personally. You know what I'm saying, so I know. I know how I and this is the thing I always tell people you have to have self awareness because I'm extremely self aware to know that that is something that I don't ever want. You know what I mean. Like at all. I even to the point where I even told my wife I said listen, if you ever feel the need To want kids, we can get divorced and you can go and find another man to have kids with and it would be good. You're saying, and I'll be still be cool, but you know what I mean. Like I don't want it, so that that's all. Look at it.

Darron Brown: 12:00

Okay, I feel what you say, man it kids do kids can. I mean it depends on your perception or your perspective where you're at actually have a. I have a daughter and I'm not with the mother. But I will say this that man, when you, it depends on basically how you want a parent, because I have a with my daughter. I compete in boxing, also compete in karate. I take her everywhere with me right now.

Darron Brown: 12:24

But some people do have more of like the sacrificial idea of when they have kids, oh, I can't be me anymore, I can't do, I want to do. I don't see it that way. I see it as I have my life and if my kid is there, my kids gonna have to fit into my routine. Right. Example my pop, my father, was. He was always in and out of jail, in and out of prison growing up, right, but he was a pretty boy thug. So he had women all over the place. He had kids with different women, which I don't. I'm not saying that that's what you should do, but my pops had all those women. He had all those women operate together. All of us grew up to you with each other. We all know each other, we all have a close relationship, right, and then also my pops always had me when he was doing this thing. I was always what a while he was doing this thing, whether it was good or bad, you know. So I think I think when you do have a kid whoever is listening to this you you basically decide what kind of parents you want to be.

Darron Brown: 13:14

Right, I think the biggest thing about being having a kid is honestly, the money, because it's a lot more expensive People that people did not realize. It's way more expensive and I had the money for I can afford it, but I wasn't really like expecting to be what it is right. But anyways, I want to know if you got a lot of people get gained to guys who are having trouble with women. I don't have trouble with women per se. What I have trouble with is that sometimes I can attract it's easy to get like the thoughty women, but every now that I want to get a woman that's like stable, that's, that's solid, you know, got her mind right. But a lot of these women they will see me as a player. Even when I play college ball they were like oh, you're a player, you're this and that, and sometimes I would actually like those women you know. So for men who are in those positions that attract women but they're not getting the woman that they should get like, how should they go about the dating game?

Mr. Locario: 14:07

I mean the thing is, is a you got to figure out what type of women you like and then you have to become, or you have to be, the type of guy that can attract those women. So what I mean is this is that you know, let's say, for example, a guy, he, he wants a girl for a girl, he wants a girlfriend or wife or something like that, and he wants a long term situation. So are you the guy that's consistent? Are you the guy that does what he says and says what he's going to do? You know, saying like, are you the guy that you know is going to actually be the type of dude and do the work it takes to get that type of woman? Or, if you want to just hook up with a bunch of girls, are you the type of guy that's going to put in that work to do that? Are you going out every weekend? Are you dressing a certain way? You know I'm saying do you have that confidence to go up and say what you need to say to make it, to get it done? So, whatever you want, you have to be that guy that can attract that that situation.

Mr. Locario: 15:02

So a lot of times what happens is that you have guys out there who want, you know, a long term situation with a woman who's going to be on point, but he's not on point, he's inconsistent, he's all over the place, he doesn't have his stuff together. So then he can't get that. Or he might want to hook up with a bunch of girls, but he's scared to approach women. He doesn't know what to say, he doesn't know what to do. He's, you know, he's insecure and all this other stuff, so he's not going to get that. So, whatever you want, you got to be that guy that can attract that, and if you're not, it's just not going to happen. For you see, I'm saying if it does happen, you feel, fall in your lap, you're going to end up losing it because you don't have the skill or the know how to maintain it.

Darron Brown: 15:38

You see what I'm saying, yeah, I do, because I definitely had a friend in that situation. I remember in college being in that situation because I would actually I would get women and then I finally get somebody. I want it and I would do way too much, I'll be way more extra and I know what was going on. But basically because I wasn't grounded, I wasn't solid in my foundation, things would like slowly mess up, right to add to what you just stated. I'm wondering, because you said a man, you have to become basically the type of person you want to attract, right, you think, for a person who's new to the dating game, should they take time away from women to build themselves up before they speak, before they actually speak to the type of woman they want, or should they be always practicing pursuing women?

Mr. Locario: 16:19

No, I don't think they need to take time away. I think they need to. They need to fall in more, meaning they need to go in head first to it. So what happens is a lot of guys think that they can take time away from women and then like, become this awesome guy and then like now you women are going to want you and part of what makes you attractive to women is the fact that you know how to deal with women. But you're not going to know how to deal with women if you're not interacting with women. So that's, that's part of the process. You see them saying it's just like. It's.

Mr. Locario: 16:50

Like someone say hey, do you know, can I get good at basketball by not going to the basketball court and then just watching basketball movies and then looking at the basketball in my house? You know, you got to get in the field, you got to get on the court, so you got to be in it in order for you to get better at it. You see what I'm saying and that that's the key. A lot of times guys think that well, if I, you know, work on myself and, you know, get my money up, or, you know, I start working out a lot and I do this and do that. What happens is that you might have better bait, but you don't have the internal and the skill or know how to make it come together. So what happens is this, and in fact that's even worse. Because now let's say, for example, you say you know what, I'm going to get extra fit. You know, get some nicer clothes, I'm going to get more money. So now you have the look or the image of a guy that is attractive, but then because the internal is still not worked on and because you haven't really worked on the situations with dealing with women, so you know you're basically food, you're a sucker, you're a guy that she can take advantage of, because you don't know what's going on.

Mr. Locario: 17:55

So now what happens is is that because you don't know what's going on and you're going to get to get advantage of, that's going to make it even worse for you in the long run? Because now you're creating a situation where you're going to, you're going to experience some sort of trauma dealing with a woman. Meaning when I say trauma, that means that there's going to be certain things that women are going to basically do that will probably scar you mentally. And so I'm saying and then that's because you didn't know what was going on. And now, all of a sudden, you mad at women because they did this. You see what I'm saying.

Mr. Locario: 18:27

So now you're. You went from a guy that you really didn't have anything going on. You built yourself up to be this guy. You got with this woman and then this woman played you and now you're angry at all women now because you see what I'm saying because you broke your little heart and then. So now you're worse off than you were before. So I always tell guys it's better to immerse yourself in the situation so that you get better with women while you're also getting better with others things outside of women. You feel I'm saying so you want to do it all at the same time.

Darron Brown: 18:58

You know me. No, I feel you. So much of the game that I hear on the Internet is about women. So a lot of men seek validation through women, right, how do you, when you're dealing with men and they have this validation seeking theme from girls and they don't get it, how do you help coach men out of that?

Mr. Locario: 19:14

Right? Well, the thing is, it's really is really about guys focusing, you know, on themselves in the sense of understanding that they don't need the validation from women. So it's almost like they believe they do, and then you, and then it's like teaching them that they don't. But the way to teach them that they don't is that they have to understand that value as men you see what I mean and then also understand that value as men in relation to women. So a lot of times, guys, they look at women as women are better than me women.

Mr. Locario: 19:46

You know if I get a hot girl that's going to make me the man, or you know if I get this type of woman that's going to make everything right in my life or my situation, and so when you have that thought, that's the thing that's actually going to make you lose. But what happens is that if you focus on yourself and understand who you are, what you're about in your value, right, then what you're going to understand, what you're going to notice, is that you know women start to gravitate to you in a different way because you already recognize your value first, and then they recognize the same value you recognizing yourself. But if you don't understand or recognize your value, then what's going to happen is is that you're going to always be looking for validation and your value through the interactions with those women.

Darron Brown: 20:30

You know me. No, no, no, I feel you. I feel you. What I'm wondering is men who are within that, in that position, Do you recommend that they only speak to women who have a high attraction for them, like basically they have, like women who show them choosing skills, because they're so low at the experience level that maybe they should just practice on women who already show them and make it easy for them? Or do you just tell those men to go into it All all heads?

Mr. Locario: 20:56

Oh no, they got to go into it. This is because a lot of guys they they're like well, I got to wait for a woman to give me six choosing signals and check me out. I totally am against guys just waiting now for women is giving you signals and you take advantage of it. But I'm totally against guys saying we know I'm not going to approach a girl and she checks me out. And the problem with that is is that most guys are not going to have that experience you've got I'm saying off the off the rip and when they do have that experience, it's far and few in between.

Mr. Locario: 21:23

So what happens is is that you're basically waiting for something to happen, but also, on a subconscious level, you're waiting for the woman to lead you. So then, when you're waiting for the woman to lead you, that is already a loss in itself, because you're supposed to be leading the woman, you're supposed to be making the situations happen and not being the type of guy who's waiting for the situation to happen to him. So the thing is I tell guys look, you got to go after what you want, because what it is is that that's practice for you already for what you need to do in the relationship long term when you deal with women in general anyway, Okay, you know I hear a lot about dudes.

Darron Brown: 22:03

They talk about how the dating game is similar to sales. You have to basically get your numbers up. I've heard you talk about hitting on multiple women and you know a bunch of them a day, I don't know a thousand per month or something like that. I don't know if that's realistic, if that's really realistic, but what are your thoughts on that? When it comes to actually applying sales the sales, I'm going to say the sales mythology or the sales thought process to the dating game, does it make sense, is it accurate or what?

Mr. Locario: 22:31

Yeah, you could say it's accurate in a sense. But the thing is, the reason why you have to play the numbers game is because there's so many variables between you meeting a woman and you, let's say, hooking up with her or her being a girlfriend, wife, whatever, wherever you're trying to take it. And so, like I did, I did a seminar once called the Truth About Relationships and I talked about this and I said that there's so many different, there's a few different stages that can cause you to not get the girl when you're trying to get the girl. So, for example, first you got to approach the girl, so you have to already have the courage to approach her, okay. So now let's say you approach her. Now you got to know how to talk, right. So let's say, okay, you're approached her. Now you're talking, right. Now let's say, at this point you exchange numbers. Right Now let's say you hit her up or you wanted to hit you up. And then let's say, for example, you hit her up and then she doesn't return your call or your text. Now it's over, you know what I'm saying.

Mr. Locario: 23:29

But let's say she does return your call or text. Now you got to set up a date. Now let's say you set up a date and let's say she flakes on a date, she doesn't show up, now it's over. But then let's say she does show up on. You see what I mean? Like there's so many different variables to wear from the point A to point Z, and so what happens is that because there's so many variables this is why you have to talk to as many women as possible, because women are extremely fickle, flaky, all over the place and the thing that guys don't understand is is that when a woman first meets you, that is when she is the least attached to you, meaning that's when she cares about you the least. You understand. And so a woman, even though she may be interested in you, she still cares about you the least. So what that means is is that that's the easiest time for her to fall off.

Mr. Locario: 24:18

And so this is why you got to continue to play the numbers game, because you meet this girl like guys. I'm sure guys have been in this situation where they meet a girl at a party. They're talking, they're flirting, everything seems cool. He gets her number and he calls her and he doesn't get a response. He's like, yo, what happened? I thought we had a good time we had a good conference, it's cause it's you just met, so she doesn't take you as seriously as someone she's been emotionally invested in. You see what I'm saying.

Mr. Locario: 24:42

And so this is why I tell guys that at the beginning you have to talk to him as many women as possible so that you can have a larger pool of women, so that it narrows down to the women that you're going to get with. And this is why I tell guys it doesn't make sense to wait for women to give you choosing signals because, let's say, within a month only three women check you out and then you happen to approach those three women and then you might not get with any of them. But if you approached 50 women and then you gave like 11 of them your numbers, you might end up going out with two or three of them. You see what I'm saying. So it always boils down to that type of situation. You see what I mean.

Darron Brown: 25:19

No, I feel you, man. What I'm thinking is is that I mean you give a lot of dating advice, but it's obviously you know a lot about relationships too. I mean, you marry you don't your woman for 15 years and marry for seven years. What I want to know is, because I've been caught in this situation where I'll be dating I'll be dating most of women. Someone would want to be go harder for me than others. Someone would want to be with me, and maybe it was due to my immaturity, but I didn't take advantage of those situations. I'm wondering how does a man know he has a good thing? And also, how did you? What made you choose your wife?

Mr. Locario: 25:52

Right. I mean, well, I'll say this A guy knows he has a good thing if, well and this is this is the key, because I think sometimes this is this is a hard thing for guys to understand, and this is what I teach, so that they'll understand the reason why I'm saying what I'm saying. See, I always tell guys that the game isn't about the women, it's about you. The game is about you. So what that means is is that you know you have a good woman, right, if you already have a program and you see that she's following it, that's literally the only the only way you know you have a good woman. So a good woman isn't, it doesn't pertain to her specifically, just her coming in. It pertains to how she responds to you.

Mr. Locario: 26:37

So what that means is I could meet a girl, let's say, let's say her name is like Samantha or something. I meet Samantha and I'm like yo, samantha, I, you know, I want you to do A, b and C. And then Samantha doesn't do A, b and C, so to me she's not a good woman. And then you meet Samantha next week and you're saying hey, samantha, I want you to do A, b and C. She does A, b and C, she's a good woman to you.

Mr. Locario: 26:57

So is Samantha a good woman or is she not? She's a good woman based off the guy she's with and if she's following his program. So that's how you know you have a good woman. Is that? Is she following your program? If she's not, then she's not a good woman. If she is, then she you know she is a good woman. But the thing is is that you need a program. So the thing is is that you're not going to know if you have a good woman unless you have a program, because you need her to follow a program in order for you to see if she's a good woman. You see what I'm saying.

Darron Brown: 27:24

Have you always been this solid? Because I personally, but I've been in positions where women would go hard for me be on my program. When I look back, I knew that they were really. They're putting a best foot for it, but for whatever reason, I never like let them advance and I would just cut them off for just stupid reasons. Man, have you ever been a position where you did something like that or you kept a woman around too long when you saw the signs early on?

Mr. Locario: 27:52

Yeah, I've had situations back in the day where I remember this one girl, I was younger, I was probably like 21 or something like that 22. And the girl, she was on point, she was, you know, following my lead. She was all about what I was about. And then this is stupid stuff I got rid of her because I didn't like the way she walked. She had like this little limp that I wasn't feeling. It's like okay, I can't do this anymore. And I was young and superficial and stupid, you know what I mean. So that kind of you know that kind of went by the wayside.

Darron Brown: 28:24

I've done the same thing If her toenails wasn't right. You know stupid stuff. Yeah, it's like a little craziness, you know, but why did you choose your wife, though, bro? You know what I'm saying. What made you make your wife your main piece?

Mr. Locario: 28:38

Oh, okay. So basically what it was, is that? Um, so we, we, we were together for seven years before, until before I made her, you know, my wife or whatever. And the reason why is because you know, I believe in you got a vet of woman, uh, before you put her in a certain position. So I tell guys, vet of woman for at least 18 months before she's your girlfriend, and then I say, vet of woman for at least five years before she's your wife, and so a lot of guys just rush into a relationship. And so the thing was was that, because she's been consistent for all that time and she's been on point, she's been following my lead, she's doing what I need her to do, then what I do is that I upgrade her to the next level.

Mr. Locario: 29:20

So a lot of times what happens with guys is that and this is the problem with men, men, men, men tend to look at relationships or deal with relationships with their, with their, with their heart and their emotion Right Now. You could have a little bit of that in there, because you know it is what it is. But the main thing you need to look at is that you have to and this sounds always sounds crazy when I say this, but you have to look at relationships like business. And so what happens is that I looked at my relationship like business, meaning that when I first met my wife, she only got to be my girlfriend because she earned the position to be the girlfriend. So she got the upgrade because she earned the position. So then, when she's my girlfriend, she got the upgrade to wife because she earned a position. You see what I'm saying. And so what happens is that when the woman earns the position, then she respects it more than what happens is that she's been basically taught to be that type of woman for you, and then you have a better relationship and she has a better relationship.

Mr. Locario: 30:25

The problem with a lot of guys is is that they just give women the position without them earning it, and so the position doesn't really mean anything. And so, therefore, the woman's just like whatever I could do, whatever who cares? Like I didn't, I didn't get, I'd have to go through anything to get this. You see what I mean. And so the reason why I made her my wife was because she earned her spot, but also and I always tell guys this is that the level of cooperation you're going to get from a woman right is indicative of her position. So what that means is, if I meet a girl today and we start hooking up right, she'll have a certain level of cooperation with me being when I say cooperation, that means working with me to do stuff and make stuff happen.

Mr. Locario: 31:07

I can tell the girl that I'm just smashing, like you know. Let's say I've been smashing her for a month. I might tell her, hey, listen, you know, come into my house, she'll come through. I say, hey, before you come through, stop by the store, get some like you know some chips and soda and bring it back. And she's like All right, cool, right. So she's listening to what I'm saying, but we're just having sex, we're just hooking up. So because we're just having sex and hooking up, she will never really do what I require from my wife. You understand what I'm saying Because that's right, that's a higher position.

Mr. Locario: 31:38

So so, my wife, I might, I might say to her hey, listen, I need you to do a, b and C, which is more important and more heavy than what I would ask a woman that you know that I'm just like hooking up with her, dating. You felt I'm saying and so, and even sometimes, like, you know the girls I'm just hooking up, but I wouldn't even ask them that to do anything and I just hook up, hook up with them. But let's say I'm just dating this girl. I would tell the girl I'm dating go to the store and get me something. But I would tell my wife hey, listen, I have this business meeting. I need you to do a B and C for me for this business meeting to set up. You see what I'm saying. So it's a higher level of responsibility with the position. You see what I mean. And I always use the example of a business.

Mr. Locario: 32:17

If a person's working in the mailroom, I'm not going to tell the person in the mailroom to do vice president work. You see what I'm saying, because they're going to look at me like I'm crazy. You know what I mean. So you want me to do the vice president's job? I'm in the mailroom, you're paying me mailroom prices. That's not going. That's not going to really, you know, fly. So what happens is that her position has to also be correlated with the responsibility. You see what I'm saying. So now what happens is that if I want a higher level of cooperation, a higher level of us being in that way, then I upgrade her to that level. So part of the marriage is not just cause oh, I love you and you're so sweet and you're my boo boo and all. No, it's. I'm putting you in this position because I'm also going to be requiring more from you. You see what I'm saying I feel you.

Darron Brown: 33:05

I feel you, man, because I think that's where I messed up that, because it was easy for me to just tell them to come over. You know you'll come over. Obviously, every woman would. I didn't get everyone, everyone would not come over, but I would try to take a basically like a booty call and make her a girlfriend or put her. I'd really train her and teach her how to be a woman for me. So that was. That was some strong game right there. What else? Whose idea was it to have an open relationship? You or your woman, or your wife? Well, that was my idea.

Mr. Locario: 33:37

I was like, listen, you know, I told her I was like, because what have was she wanted to be with me is like she wanted to be my girlfriend. And I said, okay, cool, you can we, we? You know, at the time when I was on, when I was upgrading her to girlfriend, I said, okay, we're going to be together, but it's going to be open. So I said, look, I'm, you know, I'm going to do my thing, you can do your thing and we'll be together. But I'm not just going to be with you. It's not going to happen.

Mr. Locario: 34:02

Cause I was like I'm in the cheating on you, you're going to probably end up cheating on me and I'm not, we're not doing all that. So we're going to keep this open. But also, I tell guys, no matter what type of relationship you're in, the relationship should be your idea anyway. You heard him saying so. I don't believe in a man getting on a relationship on a woman's terms, no matter what type of relationship it is. It has to be on your terms, because you still have to have the dynamic of her following and if it is where you're following her, you've already lost the situation.

Darron Brown: 34:34

It's going to mess your energy up.

Mr. Locario: 34:36

Right, exactly.

Darron Brown: 34:37

Bring you down and make you a lesser man than you could have been Right when it comes to choosing a girlfriend. Does your wife vet the women before they become your girlfriend, or do you just tell her hey, this is my girl.

Mr. Locario: 34:50

Oh, no, no, no, my wife doesn't. She doesn't have anything to do with it. I know some uh relationships like that. They'll have situations where, like, the wife has to approve or the you know the uh the husband has to approve of if she. You know what I'm saying. Our situations is not like that, it's just more so. Um, you know, I meet who I meet and I'm the one who decides whether or not she's going to be in a certain position. So my wife doesn't really have a say in any of that.

Darron Brown: 35:16

You know what I mean. Yeah, the only the only dating coach I guess uh, that's the boldest and most vulgar is A R C he, he doesn't believe in lying at all. He keep it completely one hundred, one hundred. But, um, there's a few coaches on a on the internet that encourage lying of women basically not blatantly ridiculously lying on women, but they do encourage a man to hide things from women or to say things that doesn't make him look bad. You know, basically, what is your thoughts on lying to a woman when you don't have much going for you, you know, or, or I've heard examples for like, don't tell a woman you haven't dated somebody in years, but you know what's your. What are your thoughts on that when lying with women?

Mr. Locario: 35:58

Well, this is the thing. I don't, I don't, uh, I don't believe in lying to women. Because the thing is, if you lie to women, you're basically making the game about the women. So you're you're saying, well, I need to tell her something so that I can, you know, get her to see me a certain way, so that she can like me. So you just, you're already making it about the woman. Now, this is the thing.

Mr. Locario: 36:16

There's a difference between lying and and and just not giving information. You see what I'm saying? Like meaning that a lie is only a lie when you're saying something or leaving something else that is relevant to the situation. So let's say, if, if, if I haven't dated in a while, I don't need to tell the woman I haven't dated in a while, because that's none of her business. You see what I'm saying? Like I don't need to volunteer that information. I mean not saying that information is a lie. You see what I mean.

Mr. Locario: 36:45

Also, let's say, if she asked me, I could, I could say, yeah, I haven't been out with a woman in a while, and that would be telling the truth, right, or I don't have to answer her question. She'd be like, oh, if you have, you been? You know? You know, have you been dating, you know recently, or have you been dating a lot of women? I'd be like, listen, we ain't got to talk about that, let's talk about us right now. You see what I'm saying. So I'm not lying to her, I'm just not getting into that conversation. So either you don't get into the conversation or you're telling the truth, but you don't lie. You see what I'm saying. So the thing is, is that some information isn't her, it's not her business, right, because that's you don't you understand.

Mr. Locario: 37:23

That's not her business. So it's like it's like if somebody came up to you in the street and said, hey, so what's your medical records in the last year? You look at them. Like, what are you talking about? Why are you asking me this? It's not your business. Like, why are you asking me that? So if I just first meet a woman, it's not her business. What I do while I'm not with her or what I've been doing in the past three years is not in her business. All that's her business is what we're doing right now in this situation. You see what I'm saying. So, but I went and I don't suggest that a guy actually like lie to a woman. So if, let's say, if she says, hey, have you been dating in the past six months, and he hasn't, he shouldn't be like yeah, I'd be dating all the time. You know what I mean. Like that's a lie. You see what I mean. So you don't want to do that.

Darron Brown: 38:03

Okay, so what about sex, though? When you date multiple women, you got to have sex with all of them. I was in a situation where I was having sex with about three different women and, honestly, it was pissing me off because it was taking time away from what I wanted to do. What I needed to do right now was just getting exhausted, so I ended up. I'm, honestly, out of emotion. I ended up breaking up with the ass and not regret it, but how do you manage that? How do you manage multiple women, keeping them all sexually satisfied? Why do you do your purpose?

Mr. Locario: 38:36

Right. I mean it's all time management, all time management. Because the thing is this understand, like sex you know, it's the funny part Sex seems or it's interesting. Sex seems like it takes longer than it actually does and it's longer in your head than it actually is in real time. Like you know, the average sex session is about five minutes. So it's all about time management.

Mr. Locario: 39:04

So let's say, if you're talking to three women right this guys, who might see each one of them once a week, so that's like three days out the week and let's say you're just hooking up with them, you can go over to their house or have them come over your place, you have sex with them for like 45 minutes, half an hour, and all right, good luck, see you next week or whatever. See you next time, and then you're good. So if you're thinking about, that's really only like three hours a week out of your week if they come through. So the thing is, is that the thought of it is actually longer than the reality of it? So the thing is, if you can have time management, then you can basically do what you need to do and get what you need to get done, and still do those things Like, for example, it was a girl that I used to like hook up with a lot or whatever, and she lived near me, maybe, like probably, I don't know like maybe two minute walk from my house or whatever.

Mr. Locario: 39:58

And so there were times where I remember one time I went over her place, got there seven o'clock, we were having sex by like 715. We were done at 730 and I was back home by like 735. So it was like so I was literally there for, like I was, the whole thing took a half an hour. So the thing is is that you know you can manage your time and make things happen. You just got to be the one to manage your time. You got to say, okay, what do I need to get done for the day? Okay, cool, like I, all these things, I'm going to do this stuff from this time to this time, I'll see this girl from this time to this time, and then I'll do the other stuff from this time to this time. So it's really all management, because even with my girlfriend and wife, I have days where I see my girlfriend and I have days where I see my wife. You see what I'm saying. So it's it's. It's all just time management. You see what.

Darron Brown: 40:43

I mean, what's the most amount of girls that you've been with at once in your relationship? Because obviously you have your wife, you have your girlfriend. Have you ever had a wife and two or three girlfriends?

Mr. Locario: 40:53

Oh no, no, no, no. I never like it's only. I've only had a wife and a girlfriend and then just random girls I hook up with. You know that I would meet places and you know what I mean. So I never I don't have like more than like I only can have two main at a time. That's just me, some people that do more than I know for myself. I only have like my wife girlfriend and that's it. So, like right now, I would not meet another woman and have another girlfriend Like that's just not going to happen. So I can meet another woman to hook up with her, you know, whenever I got time, but I'm not you know what I'm saying Like I'm not going to do 10 girlfriends.

Darron Brown: 41:23

So that stuff. I don't really you sound like you sound like me, but more mature, because when it gets to two, when the numbers get too high, like I, just get more aggressive. You know, I'm selfish with my thigh, you know, and I hear so many dudes I mean so many dudes they put so much of their energy into having multiple girls and I don't, I don't know how they, how they actually do it, man. But with that being said, I don't know, I don't. How do you get past the jealousy thing? Because what you're saying, obviously, for you to manage this relationship and to handle it the way that you handle it, takes a level of maturity. It takes a level of maturity also from your wife, right from a lot more people are very controlled, like men like to control women with finances and security, right, women like to control men with sex, but all of it is all of its through insecurity. You know, obviously you don't have that. How did you, how have you managed your insecurities within your relationship?

Mr. Locario: 42:19

Hmm, I would say the thing with me I was. I was never and this is like Like I've never really been jealous. That's the thing. I don't know, and the thing is I think it's just my perspective or just seeing Things for what they are. So my wife and my girlfriend is times that they would get jealous. You know what I mean. But my only issue is I would always want, like, let's say, because you know, if my um, my wife is like, you know, doing her thing, I just be like making sure that she's safe and everything's cool. That's my only issue.

Mr. Locario: 42:48

But jealousy was never an issue for me, and the reason why is Because it's the way. It's my outlook on relationships and dating and stuff like that, and my outlook is is that I Don't own anyone and no one owns me. You know what I'm saying. And so, therefore, the jealousy comes in when you feel like there's a threat to who you know you're your partner, meaning that there's a threat of them leaving you or a threat of somebody else Taking your partner away from you. You see what I'm saying, and so my thing is is that no one can take away what I never had. You see, I'm saying so I'm just, I'm just sharing time with these, these women, but they're not mine. You see what I'm saying and I'm not theirs.

Mr. Locario: 43:30

So what happens is is that there's no reason to get jealous, because even if you think you have someone, you ought to understand that the thought of thinking that you have them is an illusion. Because even if you're in a, let's say, monogamous relationship and you know, because people, they say to me all the time they're like oh aren't you scared that you know your wife's or your girlfriend's gonna leave you for another man, and I'm like well, they can, it could happen at any moment. And guess what? Your wife or your girlfriend in your Monogamous relationship can leave you for another man too. There's, there's nothing stopping her from you for another man. It can happen any at any moment. And so the problem is is it's the illusion of security in relationships. So security is an illusion.

Mr. Locario: 44:11

What happens is that illusion makes us feel better, but at the same time it also gives us anxiety. Because what happens is is that we do understand the truth, but we mask the truth with the illusion of security. You see what I'm saying. And so that causes the anxiety, that causes the jealousy, because on a low, we believe, and we've been taught that we need this person for our happiness, or that we need this person to make us feel good about ourselves, or make us feel like we're, you know, whole and connected, and all this other stuff, but the reality is is that you don't need them. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, as much as I love my wife and I love my girlfriend, I don't need them. You see, I'm saying, and so that perspective, or understanding that you, it's almost impossible to be jealous, because in order to be jealous, you have to believe you need them. You see what I'm saying. So, once you understand, you don't, there's no jealousy because you just let it.

Darron Brown: 45:05

Let me what it's gonna be. Man, you must have lived a thousand lives Because you to have that type of maturity is very is really rare man. I actually read I can't remember the book I read somewhere that a lot of relationships in the past were made for survival. Hmm, relationships in the future are gonna be made for growth because basically, you don't need the opposite sex like you used to meet them today.

Darron Brown: 45:28

And One of the things that I was it pointed to in the book was control. And I was saying, like a lot of people, reason they have a lot of pain and they suffer in their relationship is because they want to have control over they partners in their life. And you don't seek that control. You just see if, from what it sounds like, you seek freedom and you want the women you went you with to be free Because you built that kind of that base. You know that, yeah, you've built that type of house. Everybody comfortably lives within it. I Got a question from Dan. Dan says oh, yeah, he came in a little bit later. Dan says was she doing everything before the upgrade to wife already, or only after you upgraded her to wife?

Mr. Locario: 46:10

Oh no, she's doing everything before you got. It has to happen before. You don't understand, because the before is like the. The 90 day trial period you've been saying before is like the resume before is like showing that you are capable of getting, you know, the actual upgrade, you see I mean. So the thing is, is that and see this, what this is the problem in a lot of relationships.

Mr. Locario: 46:33

A lot of guys especially have drama and a lot of stuff going on with their, with their women, because Dave gave the woman a position Without testing her out, without seeing if she's ready for that, and then you, while she's well, while you're seeing if she's ready, you have to teach her. So what happens is that if you teach her what to do and how to do it and how to be, then when you give her the upgrade, then she knows how to be in that situation. You see what I'm saying. So it's just like if somebody's working at Target or something like that, you got to train them on how to do this, how to work this. You know they got to wear this type of uniform and all this other stuff. So when they start work right, they already know what they need to do in the company and it's the same thing when you're in a relationship Is that once before you upgrade, she has to be taught how to be that wife.

Mr. Locario: 47:25

You know what I'm saying. She's taught how to be that. You know that woman and then. So therefore, you don't have any craziness in any drama because she's already been taught how to do that. The problem is, if you don't teach her, then you're gonna Prepare you you got to prepare yourself for some drama and some nonsense because you're all over the place. You see what?

Darron Brown: 47:44

I'm saying Okay, so during the vetting process, do you take an account her parents, a relationship like if they're together, or how the mother speaks to the father, how the mother Speaks to her sons, how your girl talks to her father and her sons? Like? Because, up from my personal experience, a lot of women they unconsciously become whoever their mother was within their relationships. So do you look at that at all?

Mr. Locario: 48:08

I'm not at all, because the thing is she still has to Adhere to what I'm doing, so like it doesn't matter what, because it's like this. It's like I love using a business example. It's like if a person's working at Target, right, and then they leave Target to work at McDonald's, they have to go to McDonald's protocol. It doesn't matter what Target taught them, it doesn't matter what target target said to them. They have to be retrained. You see them saying so that you got, they got a strip down, all that target stuff and now they got to go to McDonald's protocol. Same thing it doesn't matter what her mom taught her, her dad, what they said, what they did.

Mr. Locario: 48:43

Once she's here with me now she has to adhere to what I'm doing and what I'm saying, and so, therefore, the training process begins a whole another thing. So what happened before it doesn't necessarily matter. Now. What she has to understand and what she needs to do is that she needs to Be equipped to be coachable, and that's the thing. Some women may not be coachable or they might not Want to be coached by you, which is why they'll be uncooperative, and then again, like I was saying earlier, that's not a good woman for you. But if she's coachable and she's willing to learn, then those are the type of women that you can have a relationship with, and They'll most likely be those type of women who will be a good girlfriend, wife and etc. You see, I mean.

Darron Brown: 49:22

I do. When you say coachable, I'm guessing you mean submissive right?

Mr. Locario: 49:26

Well, yes, submissive, but and also just some, you know, yeah, that's overall really what it is, submission. Because submission and a lot of people look at submission like a bad word, like oh, you got a submit All submission means is that you're under the mission. So sub means under the mission. You're under the mission of this relationship. If the mission of the relationship is a bnc, you need to be under that mission so the relationship can flourish. If you can't be under that mission, then therefore we don't need to be. You know, say you don't need to be here.

Mr. Locario: 49:55

So the thing is, the woman is actually choosing To be a part of the the situation. So no one's forcing her to be there. But if she wants to be there, she has to adhere to it. Like shout out to my do-mouse cunning him. He always uses the example of, like a person going to Harvard. If a person wants to go to Harvard, right, they they're like I got to adhere to Harvard's protocol. They go to Harvard. Harvard says, hey, you got to keep your GPA at this certain point, you got to give you a handbook and tells you this is what you need to do to stay in Harvard. So they want to go there. That's their dream. I want to be in Harvard. I want to be part of Harvard's program, so therefore, I have to adhere to what Harvard is talking about.

Darron Brown: 50:35

Is it mean now I feel you, dan coming through with these questions, man, it's a bit then got another one, so so the upgrade would not be necessary because she is doing everything already before the upgrade. So basically he's saying that yeah, if she was already a girl, what's the point of making her wife? Or she's doing wife stuff when she's, when she is your girl.

Mr. Locario: 50:55

No, this is what this one you're not understanding. See, she's doing what she needs to do as the girlfriend, right, but what happens is is that she gets the upgrade to wife Because there's other things you need her to do as a wife. So, for example Again, I just love using the business analogies Okay, in the mailroom You're stacking, you're putting mail in, you're mailing out the envelopes, you're putting stuff in the envelopes, you're putting the stamps on it, you're putting it down to shoot, and that's what, that's your job. So now I come to you and I say hey, I like the fact that you, you know, you're always on time, you're doing, you know the, the, the, the mailroom stuff. So now what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna upgrade you to supervisor of Whatever of the mailroom. Now you are working in the mailroom, now you're gonna be the supervisor of the mailroom, so you're supervising everybody that's doing the mail right. So now what happens is is that the upgrade right, that gives her bigger Responsibility. But the only reason she got the bigger responsibility is because she's been doing the worker mailroom stuff Correctly right. So it's not the same thing, it's different.

Mr. Locario: 52:04

And then what happens is is that the trade-off also is because you've upgraded her, she also gets more of your commitment. So it's also what I'm saying is everything is is is moving up. So now, if you're the supervisor, you're gonna get more money than when he was just the worker in the mailroom. So you're getting more money to get more responsibility. You see, I'm saying so when you're in a, when you're in that relation, when you upgrade her, she's getting the title and then she's getting more of your commitment, but then, with that title, she has to do more work. You see what I'm saying. So what you're doing is is that you're upgrading her from from that position, position a, to position b, which is the supervisor. You're graduating her from girlfriend to wife.

Mr. Locario: 52:45

So now, as a girlfriend, she just had to stack the Mail. As the wife, she's supervising the mailroom. You see what I'm saying. So she's getting upgraded to a different position. You see what I mean. So she's not doing the same exact thing as wife and girlfriend. She's actually doing more as wife. You see, I'm saying so that that's the, that's the difference. And so what you got to understand is is that and I'll give you another example let's say, let's say I was, um, you know, let's say I was with with my girlfriend and I Said hey, you know, um, I should say this you don't want to give girlfriend wife responsibilities. You know, you don't want to give fuck buddies girlfriend responsibilities. You see what I'm saying why not?

Mr. Locario: 53:34

Why not? The reason why is because what happens is is that when you, when you do that, either what's gonna either what's gonna happen is she's not gonna do it. You understand, because she feels like, well, why do I have to do this if I'm not in this position? So the cooperation is not gonna be there. Because what people got to understand is this a woman doesn't do anything for you, she does everything for herself, and I think that's the part that gets guys confused. They think that a woman is Doing something for them, which is, and. So what happens is that you have to understand that a woman only does something for herself, just like you only do something for yourself. Just like when you met your girl for the first time, you just say, hey, I'm gonna approach this woman and talk to her and and and, because I want to just be nice and do everything for her and for her life and make her day. No, you was like I want to smash. She looked good. I'm like you were doing it for your own selfish reasons, just like the woman is doing whatever she's doing for her own selfish reasons right now.

Mr. Locario: 54:30

The reason why I'm saying that you don't want to give up a fuck buddy girlfriend Responsibly. You don't want to give a girlfriend, wife, responsibility. It's because when you do that, she's not because she either one. She's not gonna do it right, because she's like, well, why do I need to do all this? But I'm not your Girl, I'm not your wife, I'm not you know. Say she feels like she's over extending herself for for her position or two, which is probably even worse she will do it and then she's gonna feel entitled. And then so what happens is she feels entitled because you gave her a certain type of responsibility, which means that she's invested more in you. And then, when she invested more in you, she feels entitled because she feels she's closer to you.

Mr. Locario: 55:14

So, for example, if I have a fuck buddy and I say to her Yo, let me, let me borrow like $5,000 to invest in this company, I'm trying to do whatever right, and she gives me the $5,000, that's something I shouldn't do with a fuck buddy. I should do that with life, maybe a girlfriend or even a wife. You understand what I'm saying because we're we're more connected. This girl I'm just having sex with now, the fact that I gave her, the fact that she gave me $5,000, she's going to feel like she's closer to me than just the fuck buddy, because now we've done something that sort of ties us together on a higher level. So now when I come over we have sex and I say, all right, get out of here.

Mr. Locario: 55:53

She's gonna be like, well, I gotta go for cuz, I gotta do, but but why? But because I got. Well, you know, I, you know I thought we were like I helped you with your business, that you see what I'm saying. So now, because you've given her more responsibility, she feels that she's in a more secure position in your life and they're trying to be the same in the same fuck buddy, it don't work that way. You see the question I was gonna ask you earlier. You just remind me of it when you're talking about.

Darron Brown: 56:19

I was actually about having sex. How do you manage the sex with the girls? And what I get caught up in is that it wasn't just a sex, it was like this the before and after. They wanted to hang out, they wanted to cuddle, they want me to listen to their stories and I was like man, how do you do, how do you, how do you manage all that?

Darron Brown: 56:33

But basically, for what I from your last and what I get is you relate to people on the proper basis. You know, you're the woman that you're hooking up with on the hookup level. You relate to your girlfriend on this level, your wife on this level. Right, you don't mix that. You don't mix any of them Exactly, all right. So, put like this you, you, there's group of women that you're interested in, some women you're more interested in than the others, and One of those women that you're really interested in, you would like them to be your girlfriend and possibly potentially your wife, but the girl that you see, and you haven't spent time with any of these women. And there's another woman that you see that you want to make the booty call. But what if the booty call is a girl's girlfriend, type of moves and the girl that you potentially want to make your girlfriend is doing booty call moves. Do you switch them or do you just get completely different women? No, the thing is, is that the moves, the moves that they make, right?

Mr. Locario: 57:27

Is, should be, could, should be basically based off the moves you're making. So the thing is is that You're supposed to orchestrate the entire situation and I always tell guys you have to be the best. You're supposed to orchestrate the entire situation and I always tell guys you have to treat all of them the same, regardless. Like they all got to go through the same training. They all got to go through the same process. So I can meet a woman let's say I this, girl a and girl B. I might like girl a way more than I like girl B. Right, but just because I like girl a doesn't mean she's gonna get different treatment. The girl B girl and girl B is gonna get the same treatment. They're gonna go through the same process. They're gonna go through the same thing. So even though girl a seems like oh, I would you know, she seems like she might have wifey potential, she will never be my wife, or until we've been together for this long, or she'll never be my girl until we've been together for this long. Same thing with girl B. Girl B will never be my girl and my wife until she's been with me for this long. So they go through the same thing. So, for example, I say, to vet a girl for 12 to 18 months, so girl a and girl B both have to be vetted for 12 to 18 months.

Mr. Locario: 58:30

Girl a and girl B, we're just gonna be fuck buddies only first meet, and then we're just gonna have sex and I'm gonna keep a moving and I have sex and I'm gonna keep a moving like that for the first three, four months. You see, I mean like it's gonna be the same protocol, regardless of how the women are showing up. Because the thing is this the you also got to be wary of girls trying to do Way too much too soon. Also, sometimes too, because what they're trying to do is they're trying to Basically infringe on the situation and then twist it to their agenda. So what I mean is this if I'm, if I'm just hooking up with you, right, but you want to be my girl, what you might do, what she might do, is she might try to start buying me more stuff or try to Get more time with me or spend the night or whatever. Yeah, but he has a man. I have to. I have to basically say okay, yeah, come over to my crib, let's hook up.

Mr. Locario: 59:24

She comes over seven o'clock, we end up having sex. We're done by like seven, thirty, seven, forty five, and I say, well, listen, uh, you know, I got to get some stuff done, you got to go Right, so we're gonna spend it tonight and and then so we do that every time. So then this is what's gonna happen. She might try to buy me something like oh yeah, that's nice, appreciate it, thank you, whatever right, but my actions are going to show her that what she's doing doesn't move me. And then she's gonna be like oh so I bought him a gift and I, you know, I, you know, try to like, you know, see him more, or whatever, but she still just calls me and has sex with me. So he's not moving. So what happens is is that she realizes that I am not Influenced by her and then she has to, if she wants to continue to see with me, just fall in line with how I'm doing things.

Mr. Locario: 1:00:12

So the problem with a lot of guys is they'd be like oh man, she's, she's so on point, and she's doing this for me, she's doing that for me, and then they just switch their whole plan for that particular woman. You see what I'm saying. So they're like oh, she really likes me. She's giving me all this stuff. But now what happened is he switched up and she's leading the interaction now. She manipulated him into giving her what she wanted.

Mr. Locario: 1:00:33

But the problem with that is is that when the woman does that, she's basically Disrespecting your program. Because I always tell guys this when a woman is highly interested in you, usually what happens is is that she's not gonna overstep her bounds. And if she does, because she's just, you know, like that, she wants to stand out. When she sees that you're not budging, then she'll just continue to flow with the situation. You see what I'm saying A lot of times that a woman has an agenda for you, she's thinking about herself Above the situation. When a woman is really interested in you, she's thinking about you and she's thinking about following your program. So a lot of times when a woman is trying to sway things in her way, that's a sign that she's putting herself above you Versus putting you above herself, and that's an issue. You see what?

Darron Brown: 1:01:26

I mean yeah, yeah, she's not putting herself in a serving position, she's got herself in like a leadership position lead their relationship. Hey, if you're watching this video, get the likes up. It's about 41 watching and there's only 30 likes, so make sure you like the video so you can do getting all this, getting all this free game. Now I want to talk about your books a little bit, max. Actually, like I said at the beginning of this this episode, I read both books. It took me three hours to read each book and it was an easy, clean read. The first book I want to get into is how to have sex with two women a day. So before I get into my questions, can you just give us a? I want to say what is it? A short reddit of how a man can actually get to women day?

Mr. Locario: 1:02:12

Yeah, so basically it's funny because that book is actually like a beginner's type of book, ironically, but it's really so like it's really more so just to teach them in how to have options. You know what I mean, and so what it is is that it teaches you basically how to think and believe in a type of guy that can get multiple women, so you have options to get as many women as you want, and so that's that's like the gist of it, and so it's just giving you tools to help you to put yourself out there, to be that type of guy that can attract women in that manner, using them.

Darron Brown: 1:02:44

Then you no, yeah, I feel you definitely. I want to think so. I took a few notes from the book, man, and one of the things that stood out to me was developing your inner game. Now I have a good idea what inner game is, but it may vary from person to person. What do you mean by developing your inner game?

Mr. Locario: 1:03:02

Yeah. So basically what that means is that you just have to understand yourself and be confident in who you are and seeing yourself as an attractive guy. So in the book, in the first chapter of the book, I talk about becoming the man and being the man, and what it is is that you seeing yourself as the type of guy that can get any woman he wants. Now, does that mean you're going to get every woman you want? Of course not, but you have to believe that you can. So, for example, I always tell guys, like when I talk to women, right, who's not like a relative, or you know what I'm saying. Like, when I talk to women, I assume every woman I'm talking to wants to have sex with me. You know what I'm saying. I assume every woman I'm talking to wants me. That's my assumption, that's how I think, that's how I view it, and so, because I view it that way, right, what happens is is that I actually become more attractive in general to women because I already have that assumption in my mind. Therefore, I act like that guy. You see what I mean. And so a lot of this is subconscious.

Mr. Locario: 1:04:04

The problem is, guys are the opposite. Usually A lot of guys think women aren't going to like them. They're like oh, I hope she likes me. Oh, you know she's really hot, you know she's out of my league. So they go in the opposite direction, which is why they have a hard time getting women, because then they act like an unattractive guy. You see what I'm saying. So a lot of this starts with that mindset. You have to have that mindset that you are the type of guy women want. You're the type of guy that can get the women you want. And then you, you know, you continue from there.

Darron Brown: 1:04:29

You see what I'm saying. How did you develop that mindset? Because I asked you at the beginning of the show basically were there any things that you had to, any insecurities you had to overcome to get to your position? How did you actually do that for yourself?

Mr. Locario: 1:04:45

Yeah, I think what it was is. It was just a lot of, like you know, trial and error with dealing with different types of women to see how things play out. And so what I noticed was was that, you know, I was holding myself back from certain situations. And then, when I stopped holding myself back and stopped looking for the outcome or being outcome dependent, then I was like, okay, well, listen, I can just, you know, go do what I need to go do. And so the problem with a lot of guys is that they're so outcome dependent, meaning that they're looking for the outcome to make them feel good for validation. So when I stopped doing that, I said you know what? I'm just going to go do my thing and see what happens. I'm not going to worry about if this is going to go this way or that way, I'm just going to go out and make it happen. Right.

Mr. Locario: 1:05:33

And when I started to do that and I wasn't really outcome dependent then what I noticed was is that I was getting better results in the situation. But then what also I noticed was, because of me having this mindset and going out there, right, I realized my sort of like, like how, how women were responding to me. So I realized, like the impact I was having, and so I had to get out my own way to be able to see the real impact I was having. You see what I mean. And once I was able to do that, then it's like you're you're, you're confident to do the roof cause. You're like yo, I didn't, you know, I didn't even realize and recognize that I could do that and be that type of guy to make these things happen. But that was me first getting out of my own way and then understanding that I am that guy and then just going in that direction and keeping it going. You see what I mean.

Darron Brown: 1:06:24

Yep and in your book you, in one of the sections is start. It states uh introduced your presence. What do you mean by introducing your presence? I've never heard that in any other book. Could you elaborate and tell me it's elaborate on that?

Mr. Locario: 1:06:39

Yeah, so basically in the book, when I talk about introducing your presence, it's a way to it's basically um, an easy way for guys who are especially afraid to approach women to just indirectly open up conversation, right. So, generally, like I, I like to teach guys to be direct with women, just in general. But for guys who are scared to approach women, the easiest thing for them to do is open a conversation indirectly. So what that means is, let's say you had you had a park and you see a girl you think is hot on the bench and she's reading a book. So then you would sit next to her and you say, hey, what's that book you're reading, right?

Mr. Locario: 1:07:13

So you're introducing your presence, like I'm present here in the moment, I'm introducing the present moment so we can have a conversation, so that's really all it is. And so you say, hey, what's that book you're reading? She's like, oh, it's so-and-so. And then you have the conversation about the book for a second and then you can introduce yourself. And the reason why you introduce your presence is because what happens is that if you're talking about something in the situation and you're taking the focus off you for a second, then you don't have to worry necessarily about her rejecting you. So even if a woman ignored you while you were asking that, she wasn't necessarily ignoring you, trying to get at her. She was just ignoring or not wanting to have the conversation. So then what it does is that it just gives guys a little bit leeway to be able to have a conversation and be able to talk to women without the fear of the woman rejecting them personally. In the situation you see, what I mean.

Darron Brown: 1:08:02

I see what you're saying. It's kind of like you're telling them to kind of slow their role a little bit and get used to talking to women and basically being in the moment, filling out their vibe and basically showing them your vibe as well. So what do you mean by field talk? What is it all about?

Mr. Locario: 1:08:18

Yeah. So field talk is basically, it's a way of saying to get some sort of emotion in the conversation and that's sort of the connector to the woman, sort of seeing if she's interested in you sexually, to see if she's interested in seeing you talking to you more, getting to know you more and all this other stuff. So what happens is that a lot of guys, when they approach women, they'll approach women, they'll talk at the woman and not talk to the women, and so they'll be like, hey, what's up? My name is So-and-so. Yeah, I thought you was pretty, let me get your number Right. And so sometimes a girl even given the number or whatever, but then when they text him, a, call him, nothing happens. Now the reason why that happened is the girl who gave him the number may have not necessarily been interested in him, but he didn't realize that because he wasn't actually interacting with her to see her response to him, flirting and being sexual with her in that moment, to see if she's actually interested, right, and then. So what happens is when I say field talk, it's like you have to interact with her and have some sort of indication in the conversation that you're sparking some sort of emotion so that you can see how she's responding to you.

Mr. Locario: 1:09:29

So, for example, if I walk up to a girl, right, and I say you know, I say, hey, miss, how are you doing? You know, my name is LaCara, came over here, that was really sexy. What's your name? And she's like oh, I'm Stacy's. I'm like Stacy, nice to meet you. Like, listen, you know, look, I'm not. You know, I'm pretty big, I'm busy and you know I don't have time to really go on a lot of dates. But I was thinking, being you should get together sometime and get naked and have some fun.

Mr. Locario: 1:09:53

Now let's say I say that and she like giggles and laughs. And she's like oh, my God, you're so crazy, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right, this is field talk. You see what I'm saying. So the feelings are coming out in this situation. Now, I see she's giggling, she's laughing. She most likely might be into this Right Now if I was to let's do it again, if I was to say to another girl the same thing and she's like oh, like hell, no, like, oh, my God, you know what I'm saying. Like that could be a situation where she's not interested or she walks away or whatever. It is right, but within those conversations it gives you an idea that this girl might actually be interested in you. Then you say, okay, well, listen, if she's showing that interest, hey, let's get together. Here's my number. Give me your number and then we'll meet. You see what I mean?

Darron Brown: 1:10:33

So that's the thing where you're having the conversation to see if she actually is interested in some sort of field talk isn't necessarily being vulgar or being aggressive, is basically using your words to make it known that you see her sexually. You can do that in any kind of way.

Mr. Locario: 1:10:46

Okay, exactly, and it's just sparking that like sort of cause you got. You want to get a response, cause the thing is you want to see if this girl is even worth wasting your time with or bothering you.

Darron Brown: 1:10:59

I'll tell you Cause. Women would definitely do that. They'll make you their best friend if you let them. Exactly, right, right. So so check this out, man. Most guys can't even approach one woman. In your book, you also mentioned that approaching women in groups is a good idea. What's the benefit of approaching women in groups? Come on, pops. I used to see him do that all the time, right, so I can see how it can work. But could you explain what you meant? Yeah?

Mr. Locario: 1:11:27

So approaching women in groups actually is a little bit more advanced in some situations. But what happens is that if you're able to approach women in groups, that will make it easier for you to approach women one on one. So if you're able to approach women in groups and be able to carry a conversation with a group of women and you're able to do that successfully and you know how to make that happen, then what happens is is that approaching a random woman by herself gets easier and easier. But also what it is is that if you're able to approach women in groups and be able to still interact with that group to get the girl out, the group that you're interested in, to make something happen, then you're at a level where you're really really good at talking to and interacting with women, Because talking to women in a group dynamic is way more complicated than just talking to a girl by herself, Because the thing is is that you have to be able to assess the whole group.

Mr. Locario: 1:12:21

You know you got to see the cop lockers, you got to see the woman who. You know what I'm saying who's the leader of the group. You got to do all those things so a lot of times in a bar club situation, or even if you're outside or whatever, you might see a group of two, three women, four women or whatever, and then you need to know how to interact with those women in order to make things happen, Because you might be at a bar or a club or a party and you see like three women and one of them is like the type of woman you want to be with and you're going to have to talk to the group to get there. You see what I'm saying.

Darron Brown: 1:12:48

So it just. It just is what it is. And sometimes it can actually be a little bit easier when you approach girls in a group, because, let's say, for example, you're dealing with a woman who's insecure, but if she has a friends with her and you're speaking to all their friends, everybody's feeling good. It's a way of, like validating you Right and that's social proof, because I've actually used that tactic before and it's definitely it helps, you know, especially if they meet you on the one. They're insecure, they have any friends. Look at your Instagram. They're trying to bet you without you even being there. So we have that group. You have basically that support. It can go a long way. Definitely, definitely. See, I'm just looking at the questions that I had for you, man. What is your, what is your perspective when it comes to like using dating apps? Do you recommend it? Cause I know you mentioned in the book, but is that something that you really teach and you recommend the guys?

Mr. Locario: 1:13:41

Oh yeah, definitely, definitely. I tell guys they need to be on as many apps as possible. You know, like Tinder, bumble, okay, cupid, hing, dolly, like every all these apps that you can get. Definitely get on there, because a lot of guys don't know, realize how much women they're missing out on on online dating. You know what I mean. And the funny part is some guys think that you know. I've heard guys say, well, there aren't really hot girls on online dating. Yes, there is. It's sort of saying like they, there definitely is trust and believe. Right Now, what happens is is that if a guy doesn't know how to do online dating, then it's going to be a waste of time for him. But if you, if you know how to really make this happen, then you could have like it's insane. So guys like this time. So I've had dates all during the, during the week. You know what I'm saying, just lined up, you understand just from online dating. So I think a lot of guys are missing out if they're not doing it.

Darron Brown: 1:14:38

You know what I mean I feel you, hey, make sure you like the video and you subscribe. We give you all this free game. The least you can do is like the video. So I want to go. I want to talk about well first of all, before I go into the next book. How do somebody use what do you mean by using rejection to your advantage?

Mr. Locario: 1:14:57

Yeah, Well, there's a lot of different ways to use rejection to your advantage. The thing is one is that if you're getting rejected, right, you have to use that as fuel to be able to become desensitized to it. You've heard what I'm saying, and so what I mean is is that a lot of guys they are scared of rejection, but to get through the fear of rejection, you should get rejected. You need to get rejected so that the sting, it doesn't, it doesn't do anything for you, Meaning that it lessens and lessens the, the, the, that feeling you have of like this, the fear of it, right, but also, too, that you can play games with it. Like you know, I used to tell guys listen, every time a girl rejects, you talk to two more girls, you understand what I'm saying, and then so, and so you make a game out of it, and then, therefore, it's a little bit more fun to, to, to make it happen. So you're taking the the, the fear out of the situation.

Mr. Locario: 1:15:59

So a lot of times, what happens is is that guys are trying to move away from rejection, but you got to move into the situation so that you can get past it. You got to get through it instead of avoiding it, Cause you can't avoid it. So either either one of two things that happen you're just going to sit by yourself and not talk to any women, or you're going to approach women and some of them are going to reject you. That's just. That's just how it is. So the thing is that you have to understand that and in order for, in order for you to actually and look at it this way in order for you to get women that you're going to date have sex with all this other stuff, you have to have women who reject you.

Mr. Locario: 1:16:38

It's impossible, because the thing is is that you can't have it. You can't get acceptance without rejection. You see what I mean? It goes hand in hand. So the thing is, if every girl you approached wanted you you understand what I'm saying Then you went, develop the skill to be the type of man to even keep that woman. You see what I mean. Like, the rejection is is part actually of the thing that trains you to be the strong enough man to deal with her in a long-term relationship.

Darron Brown: 1:17:07

Anyway, you see what I mean. I feel you Cause you can apply that same mindset to a lot of different things, man. I mean, I was just. I was thinking about boxing, and in boxing you can hit the punch, punch and bag you get hit the mitts as long as you want, but until you get into the ring and you get your ass beat, you'll never become great, because you don't know how to feel, to to deliver pain and to receive pain, exactly. And once you get comfortable with that, that's when you can get creative. You can see the punches coming, you can see the punches, you can duck them. You can do a lot more things, but yeah, before you can even get there, you have to be comfortable with fear, exactly.

Darron Brown: 1:17:41

And you're right, man, you know once, the the more you hit on women like that feeling, that anxiety feeling, it goes away unconsciously, right Before you went out to even knowing it's not even there anymore, right? Hey, so you mentioned in the bad boy book have her choose you. Yeah, have her choose you when you approach. How do you get a woman to choose you for your approach?

Mr. Locario: 1:18:02

Right. Well, this is the thing, and it's the funny part about guys when they talk about choosing singles. So what a lot of guys do is is that they're like, well, I'm just going to stand over there and be doing what I do and then I'm going to wait until I see a woman give me a signal, and then I'm going to go and approach her. And what happens is that rarely ever happens. Anyway, right Now, what I tell guys is is that when you approach a woman, right, she has to choose you anyway within the approach. So even if you were waiting for a choosing signal, she would have to choose you twice, cause when you go on a pro tour, she still has to see if she's interested in you when you're talking and she starts to see if she actually likes you in the interaction. And so what I mean when I say have her, choose you is this is that the interaction that you have with the woman is going to show her more about you than she could ever know just by looking at you from across the room. And so I I equate it to, for example, like let's say, if you are at a, at a, or you can eat buffet and somebody might you know? You with your friend and they're like, hey, you should try this food out. And you're like, I don't know, I don't, I don't really know how to. I don't really look that right. He's like, no, just take a bite, you probably like it. So you take a bite of it and then you're like, oh my God, this is delicious. Now you wouldn't have known it was delicious until you took a bite of it. A bite of it. So you got a taste of it. Now you know what it is and now you like it.

Mr. Locario: 1:19:22

The woman has to get a taste of you so that she can really experience you, to actually see if she likes you. You see what I'm saying? Cause a woman could be physically attracted to you, but it doesn't necessarily mean she's sexually attracted to you. You see what I mean. So in order for you to, in order for her to actually see if she's sexually attracted to you, in a lot of cases she has to interact with you. There are times where a woman could see you from across the room and be sexually attracted to you because of your physical, but a lot of times it's not just the physical, because she could look at you and be like oh man, this dude's fine as hell. And then you come over and you don't know how to talk. You're fumbling over your words, you're nervous, you act goofy. And now she's like, oh my God, this guy's weird. You know what I'm saying.

Darron Brown: 1:20:03

Yeah, I like what you said. She has to taste you Right Exactly Before she chooses you. That's the best way to put it. She got to get a feeling for who you are, what you bring into the table. How do you, how can you tell the difference between a woman that is well, say, you guys are engaged in that conversation and things are going well Right and you think that you might meet your next potential booty caller girlfriend. How can you tell the difference between when a woman is being nice or when she is actually choosing you?

Mr. Locario: 1:20:32

Right. Well, that's the thing, you know, the the the heavier the sexual talk is, or the sexual innuendo, or the more direct you are with being sexual, then you'll know. You see what I'm saying. So what happens is is that there's there's levels to be indirect. So like, let's say, for example, I can tell a girl hey, you know, listen, I want to, I want to hook up with you. And then she says okay, right. And then, or no, let's say let's take it back. Let's say I say I want to hang out with you, right, that's kind of vague. But I, but I really want to smash, but I'm saying let's hang out. So that's kind of vague. So then she's like yeah, let's hang out. And then you get together and we don't have sex Cause. She was like oh, I thought we were just hanging out, right, we're hanging out, right. But then I move up to let's hook up, right. And then still, that's sort of going in that direction, but it still could be a little bit vague. You know, subtle, yeah, it's subtle.

Mr. Locario: 1:21:28

She's like she comes over and we start kissing, and then she's like yeah, we're hooking up, we're kissing. So then I'm like now I got to start telling girls hey, listen, I want to use that. I'm going to use that Right Now. I'm like listen, I want to have sex with you, I want to fuck. You see what I mean. Like now, it's like more clear, and then her response to that is either we doing it or we're not. So then you'll definitely know if she's really trying to make it happen or not, cause she has to answer to that. You see what I mean. So the thing is is that the more direct you are, the better your chances to see if a woman is going to respond to you in the way that you want you know you wanted to make happen or if she's just using you for attention.

Darron Brown: 1:22:04

You see, what I mean. I feel you. I feel you Cause sometimes, even when you are that direct with women and they're not ready for that to happen, they'll tell you like, hey, you have to date me first or wait first, we have to go do this or whatever. Cause I've had women who are interested in me sexually but they didn't want to be a hoe. So it was like oh, you know, well, take, take me to eat first or take me on a walk, or something like that.

Mr. Locario: 1:22:24

But see that when women say that, that just means that they don't have high interest in you. And so what I would always try to explain to people is this, right, this there's, there's three levels of interest this high interest, medium interest, low interest and then, of course, there's no interest. No interest means you don't exist to women. You know what I'm saying. Like you, you might as well be invisible, but what happens is when a woman is highly interested in you and you mentioned sex right, then she's going to do it. Now, if a woman is has medium interest in you, right, and you mentioned sex, what's going to happen is is that she's going to probably say, oh, but we got to get to know each other and you got to take me out, and I'm not that type of girl, because she doesn't have high interest, she has medium interest, she, she likes you, but she's not highly sexually interested in you at this moment. You see what I'm saying. So that means that she's going to, because this is the thing the lower her interests, the more you need to do. So, if we're talking about sex or trying to hook up or whatever it is, if she has really high, if she has high interests, I don't have to really do anything but like make it happen. If she has medium interests, then I might need to take on a few dates.

Mr. Locario: 1:23:37

You know what I'm saying? Like, talk to her on the phone or whatever. If she has low interests, right, I might have to freaking pay her rent. You know what I'm saying? Like I got to do this whole thing in order to get to the sex. You see what I mean. So the lower the interest, the more you have to do. The higher the interest, the less you have to do. Is that?

Darron Brown: 1:23:56

so, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's clear, man, I feel what you're saying Because, yeah, I probably was definitely in that boat, Even though I ended up hooking up with the woman. I was using that example. She probably did sort of at a medium Right and what was happening during the walk ended up helping me get the sex. Oh, nice, nice. So what? I was going to ask what are the biggest mistakes? And this is one of the last questions I'm going to ask you what is the biggest mistakes that men make in the dating game?

Mr. Locario: 1:24:24

Oh man, I would say one of the biggest mistakes, I would say, is making the game about women. Meaning that a lot of things that guys do, they're consciously or subconsciously making it about the woman and whenever you do that, you're automatically less attractive, and then what that means is that you are not the most attractive guy, because the most attractive guy is making it about themselves. This is why you always hear the thing where women. They're like oh women, they always want the bad boys and assholes and they don't like the nice guys. You know why? Because the nice guys make it about the woman. The bad boys make it about themselves. They're like listen, I want to do this and do that. If you ain't trying to do that, then whatever you could bounce you know what I'm saying they don't care about anything except for what they're trying to do, and if you're not along for their ride, then it is what it is. So I would say one of the biggest mistakes is guys making it about the woman. You got to make it about you. So you have to have a conversation with yourself and say what do I want and go for that, and then if a woman is not down with it, then you move on to the next woman and you keep on moving.

Mr. Locario: 1:25:37

The problem is, a lot of guys do the opposite. They're calling up girls and they're like hey, so what do you like to eat for dinner? I want to take you out to somewhere special. He's making it about the girl because he's calling her and asking her what does she want to eat? Who cares what she wants to eat? Listen, you call her up. Listen, this weekend I'm going to this bar. Come through and meet me over there. You see what I'm saying. So he's making it about him because that's the bar he likes to go to. So either you're going to come with me or you're not going to come with me. Either way, I'm doing what I'm doing and that's the difference.

Darron Brown: 1:26:06

You see what I'm saying no, I feel you, I feel you. I want to say closing question If you can go back and switch the game or switch things up, what would you do differently at 18? Yeah, what would you do differently at 18?

Mr. Locario: 1:26:21

Man, I was doing a lot of simping. You were saying that, definitely. But again the simping got me here. So I guess you would have to stay the same, because I was definitely doing a whole lot of simping and just like being meaty and clingy and weird. But again, that's. The learning process is that you don't really understand what it is until you go through certain things and you just keep that shit going.

Darron Brown: 1:26:51

You know what I mean. I've been in the same position, man. I hate to admit it. Actually, we got some questions. If you guys have any questions, make sure you post them now, because we're going to. This podcast is close to the ending. How can you make it so? The question we have by Russell Douglas how can you make it about the women, when we, as humans, are motivated to attract opposite sex? Isn't that human nature?

Mr. Locario: 1:27:15

Right.

Mr. Locario: 1:27:16

And see, that's the confusion. See, what you have to understand is is that what makes a woman attracted to you is the fact that she sees you as either equal or better than her, or higher in a higher level than her. So if I'm talking to a woman, right, and she's interested in me, what that means is is that she's interested in what I'm about, which means she wants to follow me Right now. If I'm making it about her, then that means I'm following her, and if I'm following her, I can't be attractive. See, this is what a lot of guys don't understand. A lot of guys don't realize that part of what makes you sexually appealing is your behavior. You understand. So I always tell guys this. I talk about this in my book. Looks Don't Matter.

Mr. Locario: 1:28:08

There's five different types of attraction that women are going to have. For men it's physical, sexual, behavioral, resource attraction and friendship attraction. Those are basically the five types of attraction. I'll go through them real quick. Physical attraction is when a woman is attracted to how you look, how you're physical, and so that means that a woman could see you and think you're handsome or cute or whatever. Sexual attraction is a combination of your looks, appearance and behavior. So, and that's the strongest form of attraction Behavioral attraction is when a woman is attracted to your behavior, specifically meaning that a woman could think you're funny, charismatic and all that other stuff.

Mr. Locario: 1:28:49

She likes your behavior, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's sexually attracted to you. Resource attraction is when a woman's attracted to your finances, status and stuff like that. Friendship attraction is when a woman is only attracted to you as a friend. Now, some of these overlap. The only two that don't overlap is sexual attraction and friendship attraction. So a woman could be sexually attracted to you and attracted to your resources. A woman could only be attracted to your resources. A woman could be physically attracted to you and just attracted to your resources, but not sexually attracted. So the thing is that guys have to understand the difference.

Mr. Locario: 1:29:21

Now what happens is that, since the strongest form of attraction is sexual attraction, if you are behaving like a guy who's making it about her, then what happens is that you are less sexually appealing than a guy who's making it about him Because, remember, she wants to follow a man. So if you're making it about her, you are following her. You see what I mean. It's really simple. So the problem is that guys think see the way guys think. They think that if I do something for her, she'll be happy that I did it and then she'll like me. That's not how it works. In fact, she's going to like you less because you're doing it for her you see what I'm saying?

Darron Brown: 1:30:03

It lowers your value Exactly Because she's always trying to vet. She's trying to vet a group of different men, a number of different men she's trying to vet and basically the man that is at the lowest level is going to try harder. The man at the highest level Exactly.

Mr. Locario: 1:30:17

And on top of that, a woman. What a woman wants to do is a woman wants to prove to you that she is the best option for you. So the woman, essentially, is going to chase you. So what happens is that a man is supposed to make the initial approach and make that pursuit. Then the woman is supposed to chase you, meaning that the woman is supposed to try to get you, to say she wants you to think oh, this woman's better than all the rest of them, because she's like you're an all point guy. I know a woman wants you. I want to prove to you I'm better than all these other women you're dealing with. And so what happens is that the woman makes it about you. You see what I'm saying. And so the thing is is that if you're making it about her, then she's like well, wait a second. Like he's not the guy then, because if he was the guy, he'd be making it about him and I'd be trying to prove to him that I need to be that woman. But if you're already putting me on a pedestal and you're making everything about me, then there's no way to go and you're not one of these guys who is on point, because I always told people about this.

Mr. Locario: 1:31:24

There's an attraction hierarchy. I'll talk about it again. I'll talk about it before. The attraction hierarchy is this you have the top men right here, right, then below the top men, you have all women right, then below all women, you have average men and then below average men you have below average men. So as top guys, all women, average men and then below average men. And the reason why that's the hierarchy is this the top guys can get sex and a relationship easily. All women can get sex easily, but then they can't get a relationship easily. And if they do get a relationship easily, it's usually from the average guys.

Mr. Locario: 1:32:04

You see what I'm saying? The average guys, they have to work to get sex and a relationship, and the below average guys have to work the most to get anything. You see what I'm saying? So if you're the average guy here and the women are here, if you're making it about the women, then guess what. You're here and she's here, so she's looking down on you. You see what I'm saying? Because you're an average dude. The average dude makes it about the woman. The top guy makes it about himself. So the woman is trying to get here, whereas if you're average, she's here and you're here, and then she's looking down on you. You see what I'm saying. So that's. The issue is that a lot of guys don't realize this, and this is where they mess up in the situations.

Darron Brown: 1:32:44

Nah, I feel you. I feel you. I used to have that kind of idea. If a woman looked at certain women, we had to treat her a certain way. But really you should treat all women the same. And I used to get myself in trouble Because the good looking one would have did the same thing the lesser attractive one would have done. You know, if I would have just approached her differently. All right, actually this guy just left a comment. The truth is inside you. I've heard that plenty of times on your videos, man. What does that mean?

Mr. Locario: 1:33:10

Yeah, so basically that's my slogan the truth is inside you. So what that means is that everything you know, that you want, that you don't want, that you're interested in, that you're not interested in, is inside you, meaning that you understand the truth about you. The problem is is that the reason why you may not recognize the truth about you is because you're not really being honest about who you are and what you're about, because you're still caught up in social conditioning, what society taught you to do and all this other stuff? So, like I said before, the only reason why I told people that I'm non-monogamous is not to tell other people to be non-monogamous. I told people I was non-monogamous to use that as an example to show that I'm truly being myself and this is the type of lifestyle I wanna live. So I'm saying that I understood that because I had to be honest with myself and say I don't wanna deal with monogamy. You see what I'm saying. So me understanding that about myself, I just became true to myself and then now I have the types of relationships that I want in my situations. You see what I mean.

Mr. Locario: 1:34:13

And so a lot of times, people don't take the time to actually sit with themselves and say who am I? What do I want, what do I don't want, what do I not want? What type of situation do I wanna be in? And this goes for any aspect of your life, like are you in the job that you actually want? Are you with the person you actually want? Are you doing the things on a daily basis that you really wanna do? A lot of times we end up doing a lot of things in our daily routines that we don't really wanna do, and the thing is that there's times where you might do something here and there that you're not really interested in, but you do it because you, it just has to get done. But if that's like most of your life, then you're living a lie, you're wasting your life. You're not actually doing the things you wanna do.

Darron Brown: 1:34:58

You know what? You and AMS are the only ones I've actually heard come out and say I know myself and I know I don't wanna be with just one woman. I know I wanna have sex with multiple women and I think a lot of men wanna do that, but they either stay in a relationship because they don't wanna lose the sex or they feel like they're gonna be judged if they do live life the way, in an unconventional way.

Mr. Locario: 1:35:22

Right, right, exactly, and that's the thing. And see that and that's cause of fear. So the thing is that you have to be courageous enough to be yourself and just live how you wanna live and be the type of man you wanna be. And the thing is that the people who because this is the thing in order for you to really get what you want, you have to be honest, because the honesty is what you really want. So there's no way to get what you want if you're not honest about what you exactly want, because then what you're gonna get is what you're projecting.

Mr. Locario: 1:35:53

You see what I'm saying? And so you're getting what you're projecting, but you're not getting what you actually want. So, in order to actually get what you want, you have to be honest with this and you have to be clear about that. You see what I mean? And so if you are not clear about that and you're not really going down that path, then you're not gonna get what you want. But it takes time sometimes for people to sit with themselves and be really, really honest with themselves and make that happen. So, for example, like earlier, we saw my kids. I was like I know for a fact I don't want no goddamn kids.

Darron Brown: 1:36:21

You know what I'm saying.

Mr. Locario: 1:36:23

I was honest with myself and said, hey, this is how it's gonna be, because this is really what I want. Now what would happen was, if I wasn't honest with myself, in the back of my head I'd have been like, man, I don't want no kids. And then, let's say, my wife or my girlfriend whoever wanted kids then I would have probably ended up having kids with them because they wanted it, and then I would have had a kid and I would have probably been miserable because I'm not actually being who I want to be. You see what I mean. So you start to go down paths that you don't want because you're not really being true to yourself.

Darron Brown: 1:36:51

You see what I mean. That's a good example, man. This other guy, the guy that asked the original question I can't remember what he asked, but it was a pretty good question this guy he stated basically as man, we should treat dating like a self-employed business Learned how to market ourselves to women instead of applying for jobs and chasing after the women.

Mr. Locario: 1:37:10

Right, I agree, I agree, you got to look at it like you got to look like you're an NBA scout or something. Like you know what I'm saying, like you know what I mean. You're looking for the best players and stuff. You know what I mean. So the thing is is that again and as men, this is what I tell guys see, a lot of guys unfortunately, like I was saying earlier, they're dating with their emotions, their heart, instead of dating with their mind and being practical about stuff. Now, your heart has a little bit to do with it, but you can't.

Mr. Locario: 1:37:38

So I always tell guys you know you can love women, but a man shouldn't never be in love with women. In love is for the women. Women should be in love with you and you should love women. And the reason why I say that is because when you're in love, what happens is you're not focused and you're going based off of emotion. And if you're going based off emotion, you can't lead properly. You see what I'm saying? But you can. You should love your woman just the same way. God loves everyone. You see what I'm saying Like you got to have that type of love, but you don't want to be in love with your woman, because when you're in love, you're not thinking straight, you're all over the place, you're emotional, and then therefore, you can be an effective leader in your situation. You got what I'm saying.

Darron Brown: 1:38:17

No, I agree. I agree because I've been in that situation, so I know it's the truth. It's funny how all these questions come in at the end of the oh yeah, I got it, tom, you get me Okay. So another question. It says where are the stages of vetting a woman?

Mr. Locario: 1:38:31

Okay.

Mr. Locario: 1:38:32

So I'll give an example. So I usually, like I said, I tell guys vet them for at least 12 to 18 months. So let's just do like a 12 month thing if you know four women's and girlfriend, right? So I always say for the first three months, mandatory, it should just be smashing. So like if you meet a girl off a dating app, you could probably go get a drink with her real quick just to see how she is in person or whatever. But after that, every time you see her, like you see her once a week, just have sex with her, right. And then the reason why I say that is is that you wanna see how cooperative a woman is with you, giving her the least.

Mr. Locario: 1:39:08

And if a woman can stay with you for three months straight where you're just getting together, hooking up, getting together, hooking up, getting together, hooking up, and she's not like well, where is this going and what is this like, if she's not doing any of that, then you can move on to the next stage, which is okay. Now we can actually go on. You know some dates or whatever. You know what I'm saying. Now, okay, you hook up and be like hey, let's go get something to eat, let's go to dinner, or whatever it is right. So you could do that between month three and month six. Right Now, after the six month, what you wanna do is you wanna start giving her some instructions. Okay, listen, I'm gonna need you to do this, this, this, and that you feel what I'm saying. So then you do that from like month six to month like nine or something, and then the last three months, right. What it is is that you're still, you know, you're hooking up with her, you're, you know, going out on dates, giving her instructions, but then you're also checking to see, right, is she still consistent with cooperating with you and not giving you a hard time? Then, after those three months, which has been a year, you can say okay, listen, you've been on point, everything's been cool, you can be my girlfriend. You understand what I'm saying, cause what happened is some women will ask like, oh so you know, like, do you ever like wanna be in, you know, in a long-term situation? And blah, blah, blah. It's fine for them to ask, but if she's pestering you for it, that's a bad sign. You see what I'm saying? So you, so a lot of times when you're vetting the woman, you're actually looking for those bad signs to say, okay, this isn't really the type of woman I need, you really even need to give the title to, because she is basically pestering me and doing that type of thing in a situation.

Mr. Locario: 1:40:42

What I always tell guys is this what you want is a woman who's highly interested in you. The highly interested woman does not complain. The more a woman complains, the less interested she is in you and she's more interested in her own agenda, and this is what I always try to tell guys. These guys would be like but Lucario, is she gonna wait that long? Yes, if she's highly interested. And the reason why she's gonna wait that long, if she's highly interested, is because she sees you as the top guy. She can't go nowhere to get better. So she's like hell, yeah, I'm like, I'm actually glad that I'm even getting what you're giving me.

Mr. Locario: 1:41:17

So what happens is this I had a guy who was talking to where he was saying you know, there was a girl that he was hooking up with, but then she kept complaining about you know, oh, what does this mean? And all this other stuff. And I say, yeah, she's not really that interested in you, she's not highly interested in you, because what happens is women who are highly interested in a man. Part of that woman sees him as out of her league and so therefore she is actually grateful that he's giving her any time and attention. So any time and attention you give her, she's grateful for it.

Mr. Locario: 1:41:50

When a woman has any form of, you know, disinterest, where that means she's not highly interested, it's always gonna be an issue because she needs compensation for the situation. So what that means is this if you're the type of guy who a woman doesn't see that much value in, she needs for you to compensate with other things to up the value. So it's now. It's like well, we can't just be having sex. You need to, you know, commit to me, you need to spend more time with me. So she's asking for these things because she doesn't see that much value in you. If she saw how much value in you, she'd be great, she'd be good with it. And that's what I try to get guys to understand. That's like one of the trickiest things for guys to understand. They think the woman is asking this because, oh, she wants to be in a relationship with me. It is bad, and she's no, she's complaining because she needs that in order to feel like she's not wasting her time.

Darron Brown: 1:42:42

You see what I'm saying. Nah, I feel you. I know you telling the truth, man, you dropped some game because I actually broke up with a woman for that same reason and then it wasn't. I couldn't articulate it the way that you just stated it, but in my gut I knew that she wasn't trying to follow my lead and she wanted me to follow her lead. She had a plan for her life and she saw me as basically the chump she felt. She saw me as like the woman, the feminine person. Oh, you can follow me. I was like, oh no, I'm not doing that. You know, I make my money, I got my own thing going. You stop what you're doing and follow my purpose. And basically there was conflict on that end and that's what led to the end of it. So I know that's one hundred. Here goes another question what is it about April that made you choose her as a girl?

Mr. Locario: 1:43:28

Yeah, definitely. Well, her, exactly what I was saying. It was like, basically, just like her being consistent that whole time you know what I mean Cooperation, that whole time it was all like, basically, when I first met her and we were seeing each other hooking up and we started dating a little more, everything was seamless, you understand. There was no back and forth, arguing Like it was nothing. You know what I'm saying. Everything was just is this perfect? It was cool, and so what happens is, is that this is what I was saying where, when a woman is highly interested in you, she is going with your program period you see what I'm saying and there's no complaints, there's none of this. Where is this going? And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Mr. Locario: 1:44:11

Like she's about, because the thing is to complain means that there's a chance that she might lose the situation because the guy might say get out of here. So when a woman is having a good thing, she doesn't want to mess it up. So she's like I'm not complaining about nothing, I'm good, I need to keep this going. You know what I'm saying. So as soon as you're hearing the complaining, understand that's a sign she don't see that much value in you. It's that simple and a lot of guys will get that. You know what I mean, yeah.

Darron Brown: 1:44:38

Yeah, I feel you. We got another question. I just texted a chick to confirm if we're still good for a date today and she says she's watching her niece. Do I charge her now immediately or try to reschedule?

Mr. Locario: 1:44:51

Oh yeah, no, that's done, she's finished. Don't even try Really, done she should have rescheduled herself.

Darron Brown: 1:44:56

Right, it's anything.

Mr. Locario: 1:44:57

Not even that. The fact that she says she's watching her niece, that means that she again she disregarded you in the situation. That means she doesn't have my interest. You see what I mean? Because one she's probably not watching me, she's just lying to you. But let's say she was watching her niece. That would mean that either she decided to watch her niece over going out with you Because if somebody said, hey, can you watch your niece? Or whatever she should be like, no, I got a date. You see what I'm saying. So she chose to do that versus going on a date with you. Or let's say she promised to watch the niece. She forgot. Then that just shows that she has poor management skills. So it's like, why do you want to deal with her anyway?

Darron Brown: 1:45:38

You get a ring so you just keep a message. I feel you. Here goes the question and I want to answer this one. You can go ahead as well, but it says how do you get better at articulating words? Have you guys ever had this happen to you? When you text somebody and you look at the words and text message you sent it, and it looks way different than what you were thinking. Well, that happens because you're thinking faster than you're actually texting.

Darron Brown: 1:46:02

And the same thing happens when you're speaking. You're thinking faster than you're speaking. So the best way to improve that is not only to read but also to write, because when you write you have to slow down your mind and actually put words to paper and to have it make sense. With text message you can just type like this, but with words you actually, with writing, you actually actually go through the process.

Mr. Locario: 1:46:24

No, that's true. And also I would say too, is that you get better at articulating your words, the more you know what you want to say. And so I think sometimes what happens is that we talk, but we're talking to say things to make us look a certain way, versus talking to say things to express how we really feel. You see what I'm saying, and so if you get more in tune with talking and saying things how you really feel about it, then you're going to get better at articulating words, because now it's just coming straight from what you really really are about and what you really really want to say. So a lot of times when you're masking what you really want to say, then it's hard for you to articulate the words because you're trying to mask what you're really trying to say.

Darron Brown: 1:47:11

You see, what I'm saying. So you just got to get more in tune with what you're trying to say. It's more smooth because it's coming from the heart. It's not to think about it, it's real. You can. It's a feeling. It's not only words, it's a feeling associated with it. All right, well, I'm going to end it here, lucario, thank you for your time. If you guys are just coming in, lucario has two books. I bought both books. I read them both. One book is called the Bad Boy Book. The other book is called how to have Sex with Two Women a Day. I strongly advise you to check out those books. They're available on Amazon. Once you purchase it, make sure you do a review. Also, make sure you subscribe, hit the Subscribe button, tune in for other episodes and make sure you hit that Like button before you leave. All right, lucario, thank you for being here.

Mr. Locario: 1:47:52

And I'll catch you next time.

Darron Brown: 1:47:54

Appreciate it See you. Y'all.